Wednesday: Difficulty Getting Going

I am not looking forward to work today. On Monday, the groups that I see twice a week were just plain old mean and nasty to each other and to me. I hope that they will be a bit nicer to each other today, but I am not anticipating that things will change significantly. Once I get back here from work, I will have a meeting with a couple of people to start planning for a new symposium. It will be a late night, but it should be a productive one!

Is it only Wednesday? Seventeen days left before break. I hope that I can do it without taking time out, but who knows. To add to my list of stressors, I have required that I eat things from my home rather than getting food from other sources this month. It has become way too easy to justify getting food delivered while I am still shopping for food to put in my pantry. So, I am making myself heat things up. Yesterday's dinner was a taco salad - quick, easy, and no extra money spent on food. It also means spending some time meal prepping on the weekends because I do not have any interest in cooking when I get back home after working. Seventeen days left before a rest period at home and at Home (there is a difference).

No one downloaded my free resource yesterday. That makes me sad. I have things out there, but no one takes advantage of them. I will NOT give up, though! My TMEs by the Numbers format is helping me create new songs and TMEs for my clients. I know that other people would find it useful, but if no one downloads it, then it just sits there. Oh well. You can lead a horse to water and all that.

Today's TME format includes body percussion, a musical domain focus with a sequencing secondary goal, a folk style, using wind instruments, and having something to do with the themes that I have for the month of March. Whistles and jigs come to mind for March. I believe one of the countries that we talk about is Ireland, and of course, there is St. Patrick's Day in March. I could use my whistles in a leprechaun audition TME - So, You Want to Be a Leprechaun?? The song could include instructions for things that clients need to do in order to earn the title of leprechaun - move through an obstacle course, play different notes on the whistles, sneak around, dance a jig to body percussion, and complete a leprechaun puzzle. The entire thing could finish with the granting of a leprechaun name. That sounds like fun! I bet even my big kids would be willing to do this. I could also use the format to do something about spring - whistles lend themselves very well to wind sounds, and we get lots of wind where we live!

Ugh. It is time to go back to getting ready for work. I was later than usual yesterday. I may be later than usual today as well. I might not. It is hard to combat my time anxiety when I feel like I feel today.

I am stuck in a negativity spiral where it is difficult to find the good in things. Right now, my rational mind knows that there are plenty of good things happening in this life of mine, but my emotional mind is soggy with emotions. Not all of those emotions are mine I think, but I have no place to put those feelings right now. Every sort of self-care situation that I use are not really things that I want to complete right now. So, I just keep internalizing these emotions without expressing anything. I need to do better with this because I am just a big mess of sciatica, IBS, and headaches. I am also a mess of imposter syndrome right now. Someone download the free resource!

See you soon.

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