Nothing Goes Like It Seems It Will in April...and May

My anticipation meter is a bit off this week. No one has actually done what I have expected them to do in music therapy sessions. My first two sessions on Monday were horrible - assists, screaming, arguments. It was stressful and led me to spend most of the rest of the week thinking about how much trauma the staff at my facility go through without acknowledgement or mediation.

I am someone who releases my emotions well other than through crying. I cry quite a bit in my car. There is something really surreal about having to go through a session where everyone is screaming, trying to engage them in something musical, and then having to turn around immediately to do it all over again. I am sitting there, playing my guitar, while my fingers are shaking from my adrenaline release. It is part of what I do, but I am tired and am ready to move on. 

Fourteen months to go.

At this time next year, I hope that we will know who the next music therapist will be. I will have taken most of my things home from work. My house will be crammed, but my work space will not. I will be preparing clients for a change in leadership and will be figuring out my own future plans. It is a bit strange to be thinking about leaving, but it is also important.

I will leave. 

I figure that 30 years in a job is more than enough, and the ability to be able to access my pension is a good reason to move on. I cannot retire completely - I don't want to retire completely - I still want to do music therapy, but I want to do things in settings that are less physically strenuous. That's my goal. Music therapy things that are more gentle on my body. 

I have fourteen months left. Two graduations. Two talent shows. One more Holiday Sing. That's it. I promise that I won't dwell too much on this upcoming change in my life, but I will be talking about it because it is part of my life as a music therapist. I will limit myself.

I am thinking about what I want to talk about at the World Congress next year. I have an idea about a project that might be cool, but I don't know if anyone would go for it. We'll see.

Not much else to report these days. I am happy that it is May because it means that the disaster of a month, April, is over. This, unfortunately, means that something is going to happen to me (it always does and has become a bit of birthday lore in my life), but I will be vigilant! 

Have a great May Day, everyone!

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