Here I Go Again...

Today is Hand Doctor Day - again. I will be going to work, leaving work after two groups, heading to my doctor where I will sit for probably 2-3 hours before seeing him for five minutes, and then heading back to work for the rest of a 12 hour extended day. That's right - I have a 12 hour day this week and next to "finish up progress reports and get ready for ESY (extended school year)." I am not certain if that time is appropriate for "working from home," but since I have an intern, I am going to stay until I am kicked out which will probably not happen since folks often forget that I am around and go to tell everyone else to knock off early but completely forget that I am in my little corner of the world. It happens all the time!

It is also Teacher Appreciation week which means that I am going to miss the special lunch truck that is coming down because I have to go see my hand doctor to see if I will have to get Cortisone shots regularly or if I will need surgery to correct my trigger finger. The decision made today will probably affect everything from moving to going home to see my mom and my siblings to whether I get paid for the entire month or have to take unpaid time off for this entire fiasco. I am still unable to physically manage unsafe behaviors in clients which is frustrating because there are many happening (yesterday was the most Tuesday-ish of Tuesdays, by the way), and I cannot be part of the team to help with that management because I sorta want to be able to use my dominant hand for things...any type of things. I'm not sure what would happen to my worker's compensation claim if I get re-injured after ignoring doctor's advice, so I do what I've been told which means that there are entire groups of co-workers who think I ignore safety issues and do not help them when they have to be in those assists. It frustrates me deeply.

I did better with the whole frustration thing yesterday with my realization last week (I think it was only last week) that I am probably not the source of all the feelings that I am soaking up. There are so many things happening at work that I am not surprised by the number of staff openings that we have at the moment. Anyway, I was able to release much of the stress that I had yesterday without having to resort to Tylenol or anything sugar-based.

Today, though is for trying to get some answers about my fingers and to see if I can get things fixed in my timeline. I have some time off before our ESY starts, some in the middle of it all, and a little bit at the end before our regular school year starts up again. I would like to schedule surgery for one of those breaks, if possible, so I could not have to take as large a salary cut - because worker's compensation makes me take my sick and personal time for all medical situations and will not cover lost salary due to surgery for a work-related incident. I have no sick time left, so that means any time that I have to take off between now and July will not be paid time. So, in addition to being in recovery and having to keep my hand still(ish) and safe, I will be losing salary. Fortunately, I have enough in savings to keep me going for a bit, but still, I need to arrange things to help me out as much as possible. It would suck to have to spend my break doing wound care, but I would rather do that than miss two weeks of intern and work stuff. I am craving a plan.

If I can get things arranged to my liking, I will know how the rest of the summer is going to be structured. Until that time, I can't really "get ready for ESY." I won't know if I can be even picking up the guitar much less be playing it during the summer session until I know what I will be doing. I can count on not being able to use my hand for two days after getting cortisone shots, so that will be a consideration - the next round might be in July. If I do surgery, I will have to be doing Occupational Therapy and strengthening and all that sort of stuff. The biggest consideration will be when I can drive myself around places because I do not have an easy way to get to the city where my doctor works if I cannot drive. I may have to figure out the whole Uber thing if I can't drive myself for a bit of time. According to the site, a trip to my OTs would cost me $52 each time. Something else to consider since I am not being reimbursed for all of this driving that I have to do. Web resources are foggy on how long I can be off from work thing. Some say "go back in a day or two" while other say "you may be off for up to six weeks." I think my doctor is more of the "go back in a day or two" variety based on what he has done to me lately. I feel nervous about being around clients with open wounds on my hands, but I will have to do it if that is what he writes on the paperwork. That will change my ESY plans considerably. 

Okay, enough of this speculation. I know myself well enough to know that I can take all sorts of paths and byways if I keep thinking about all of this stuff. All I can do right now is get a book to read while I am waiting for the doctor (again 2-3 hours of waiting every single time) and try to think through as many of the possibilities as I can without going down the rabbit hole.