You Never Know How Someone Else Perceives the World
In our clinical services team meeting this week, our Certified Occupational Therapy Assistant (COTA) presented a sensory inventory checklist. As I took the test (thinking about myself), I found nothing really surprising. I have Sensory Processing Disorder, especially in the areas of vestibular, tactile, and interoceptive senses. This is not a big reveal moment for me - I was unofficially diagnosed when I did my internship and my mother had diagnosed me many years before while she was watching me interact with the world. She was watching me through her Occupational Therapist glasses and knew that I had something sensory going on.
During my internship, I was the target of all experiments. As a music therapist, I was not allowed to do the diagnostic tests for official documentation, but I was allowed to learn how to look for specific responses. Since I was the only one who wasn't allowed to diagnose sensory processing difficulties (it wasn't an official disorder back in those days), I got to be the demonstratee.
I went through tests for visual convergence, post-rotary nystagmus (I HATED that one!), hearing, vision, figure-ground discrimination, gross motor and fine motor coordination tests, you name it. Every time I would go through one of those tests, the OTR in charge would say, "That's strange. I've never seen a reaction like that." Every...single...time!
Due to all of those tests, I now know that I have Sensory Processing Disorder. All this really means is that I perceive the world in a certain way. I find situations where I end up moving around and around and around very difficult to manage. Anything that involves spinning makes me motion sick pretty quickly, and the side effects (being dizzy) last for lots longer than for other people. I went on a three day cruise once and was motion sick for the three weeks after the cruise. I have lots of difficulties with touch, especially with things like scratchy tags and hugs. I also don't have very good internal senses. I have a high pain threshold, abhor medical situations and tests, and am often really sick before I think to go get medical attention. My interpretation of sensory input is apparently different from that of other people, but I don't know any better.
It wasn't until I went through all of those tests that I realized that what I experienced was not the way that others experienced the world. It was absolutely fascinating to me and informed my way of being a music therapist from then on.
During my internship, I quickly became the sensory test. If a student was having behavior reactions that seemed to be over the top, the staff would call me in to experience the environment and see what was going on. I was able to tell which fluorescent bulbs were starting to go bad. I could hear all the machinery going in the room. I could feel drafts and changes in the air flow. I could feel subtle shifts in the foundation. While I wasn't able to exactly pinpoint what was going on with the clients and how they were processing the same environment, I was able to provide my fellow staff members with some information about what could be the problem.
The reason that this became my topic for today's blog post is bigger than just my experience with SPD. It has lots to do with bigger issues and societal situations these days.
I don't seek out the news these days, but I still have information about what goes on in the world. It is easy to see differences in how people perceive sensory input in the stories that come from the news.
I think we tend to assume that everyone around us experiences the situations that we are in the exact same way we experience the situation. I can tell you that that is emphatically NOT true! As someone who has been identified as having difficulty with perception, I can say that how I experience the world is very unique. Many of my clients over the years have shared some of my perceptions, but they still perceive the world in their unique ways as well. None of us perceive any situation in the same way.
This often leads to misunderstandings, emotional responses, and, in extreme cases, escalation into situations that are not beneficial.
I don't like to walk through a large group of people. If I see a large group of people that I have to navigate through or around, I search for a place where I can go to avoid being in the mass of bodies. I will cross the street to avoid a group of people who are standing on the sidewalk. I am doing this because I just don't like the sensations that I get by being that close to strangers, but I know that some people feel like I am responding to their clothing, skin color, or attitudes. I'm not. I'm just protecting my sensory system.
I've had to educate people about my foibles and sensory issues so they have some sort of foundation for my sometimes strange responses to things. I don't always bother to explain - sometimes it is just easier to cross the street than to tell a group of people that I don't like being touched - there is always someone who wants to test that fact. I am someone who can modulate my responses (to a point), but I don't like having to go through the arc of stimulation, overarousal, crisis, and then trying to figure out a way to desensitize.
For me, I go to a place far away from other people to rub my arms and get my sense of personal space reestablished. If you see me at conference, I am probably sitting either by the wall on the floor or by the wall in a chair with my stuff in another chair, offering me a personal space buffer. I will move my stuff if I absolutely have to, but I so prefer to have an extra seat for space. I might also escape to my room when things get to be too much for me to process.
My clients are often unable to modulate their responses to sensory input. They do not know that it is not okay to smack someone up the side of the head when that person touches your arm. That simple touch may feel slight to the person giving the touch, but the receiver may feel strange sensations or even pain when touched. The sensation then becomes too much for the sensory system of the receiver to handle, so the receiver then tries to escape from the sensation any way possible.
Fight or flight.
I think that many of the people in the world today have lost sight of the idea that we all experience the world through our eyes and only our eyes. We have less understanding that any two people who go through an experience will actually go through that same experience very differently. When we start to think about this a bit more, I think we will be better off as a society.
You never know how someone else perceives the world. So, ask.
During my internship, I was the target of all experiments. As a music therapist, I was not allowed to do the diagnostic tests for official documentation, but I was allowed to learn how to look for specific responses. Since I was the only one who wasn't allowed to diagnose sensory processing difficulties (it wasn't an official disorder back in those days), I got to be the demonstratee.
I went through tests for visual convergence, post-rotary nystagmus (I HATED that one!), hearing, vision, figure-ground discrimination, gross motor and fine motor coordination tests, you name it. Every time I would go through one of those tests, the OTR in charge would say, "That's strange. I've never seen a reaction like that." Every...single...time!
Due to all of those tests, I now know that I have Sensory Processing Disorder. All this really means is that I perceive the world in a certain way. I find situations where I end up moving around and around and around very difficult to manage. Anything that involves spinning makes me motion sick pretty quickly, and the side effects (being dizzy) last for lots longer than for other people. I went on a three day cruise once and was motion sick for the three weeks after the cruise. I have lots of difficulties with touch, especially with things like scratchy tags and hugs. I also don't have very good internal senses. I have a high pain threshold, abhor medical situations and tests, and am often really sick before I think to go get medical attention. My interpretation of sensory input is apparently different from that of other people, but I don't know any better.
It wasn't until I went through all of those tests that I realized that what I experienced was not the way that others experienced the world. It was absolutely fascinating to me and informed my way of being a music therapist from then on.
During my internship, I quickly became the sensory test. If a student was having behavior reactions that seemed to be over the top, the staff would call me in to experience the environment and see what was going on. I was able to tell which fluorescent bulbs were starting to go bad. I could hear all the machinery going in the room. I could feel drafts and changes in the air flow. I could feel subtle shifts in the foundation. While I wasn't able to exactly pinpoint what was going on with the clients and how they were processing the same environment, I was able to provide my fellow staff members with some information about what could be the problem.
The reason that this became my topic for today's blog post is bigger than just my experience with SPD. It has lots to do with bigger issues and societal situations these days.
I don't seek out the news these days, but I still have information about what goes on in the world. It is easy to see differences in how people perceive sensory input in the stories that come from the news.
I think we tend to assume that everyone around us experiences the situations that we are in the exact same way we experience the situation. I can tell you that that is emphatically NOT true! As someone who has been identified as having difficulty with perception, I can say that how I experience the world is very unique. Many of my clients over the years have shared some of my perceptions, but they still perceive the world in their unique ways as well. None of us perceive any situation in the same way.
This often leads to misunderstandings, emotional responses, and, in extreme cases, escalation into situations that are not beneficial.
I don't like to walk through a large group of people. If I see a large group of people that I have to navigate through or around, I search for a place where I can go to avoid being in the mass of bodies. I will cross the street to avoid a group of people who are standing on the sidewalk. I am doing this because I just don't like the sensations that I get by being that close to strangers, but I know that some people feel like I am responding to their clothing, skin color, or attitudes. I'm not. I'm just protecting my sensory system.
I've had to educate people about my foibles and sensory issues so they have some sort of foundation for my sometimes strange responses to things. I don't always bother to explain - sometimes it is just easier to cross the street than to tell a group of people that I don't like being touched - there is always someone who wants to test that fact. I am someone who can modulate my responses (to a point), but I don't like having to go through the arc of stimulation, overarousal, crisis, and then trying to figure out a way to desensitize.
For me, I go to a place far away from other people to rub my arms and get my sense of personal space reestablished. If you see me at conference, I am probably sitting either by the wall on the floor or by the wall in a chair with my stuff in another chair, offering me a personal space buffer. I will move my stuff if I absolutely have to, but I so prefer to have an extra seat for space. I might also escape to my room when things get to be too much for me to process.
My clients are often unable to modulate their responses to sensory input. They do not know that it is not okay to smack someone up the side of the head when that person touches your arm. That simple touch may feel slight to the person giving the touch, but the receiver may feel strange sensations or even pain when touched. The sensation then becomes too much for the sensory system of the receiver to handle, so the receiver then tries to escape from the sensation any way possible.
Fight or flight.
I think that many of the people in the world today have lost sight of the idea that we all experience the world through our eyes and only our eyes. We have less understanding that any two people who go through an experience will actually go through that same experience very differently. When we start to think about this a bit more, I think we will be better off as a society.
You never know how someone else perceives the world. So, ask.
Comments
Post a Comment