A Day of Absurdities
Yesterday was a bit surreal at times. It started with a client who rarely initiates unique communication with me telling me to "get to work!" I can understand why he was saying it. I was sitting in the hallway doing my morning "hallway duty," reading a book about teaching games and relaxing in the sunshine. He usually ignores me or starts talking in one of his scripted speeches. This time, he came up with a completely unique interaction. His classroom paraeducators were surprised to hear his statement/command as well.
The day continued as it often does, through group sessions and documentation. At the end of the day, I was running a session with some of the middle-schoolers. One of my clients was asking questions about instruments and wanted to purchase one from me (he does this quite often - seems to think that I'll sell him my stuff). We started a conversation about ancient Egypt and something that sounded like the movie Atlantis from Disney. I asked him to sit down in the circle so I could see his peers, and he did so. He started screaming, "I shouldn't have to worship you!" Click. We shifted into disordered thinking right there. I looked at him, acknowledged his comment, and he escalated. It ended in a huge tantrum, started by a conversation. Lesson learned? I'm not going to talk to him about money anymore.
We don't often speak about the times when our clients respond and react to us and what we do in ways that are not what was expected. Do we? I think we need to. Sometimes we get responses that indicate growth and connection. Sometimes we get responses that are not proportional to the situation at all. Sometimes we get no response at all.
What is a therapist to do when a client responds in a way that is unexpected?
Respond, of course. How I respond to every situation adds to the experience of the client. I often acknowledge emotion, communication, and words, providing support and options for how to work within those situations. I use my tool, music, to reflect what I am told or to reinforce that which I want. Sometimes I simply sit in awe and amazement.
I am going to head to work today, eager to see if the absurd moments continue or if they were a yesterday-anomaly. I am going to sit in my same hallway duty spot and wait for the first client to walk by. I wonder if he'll even see me there today. We shall see.
Happy Wednesday, all.
The day continued as it often does, through group sessions and documentation. At the end of the day, I was running a session with some of the middle-schoolers. One of my clients was asking questions about instruments and wanted to purchase one from me (he does this quite often - seems to think that I'll sell him my stuff). We started a conversation about ancient Egypt and something that sounded like the movie Atlantis from Disney. I asked him to sit down in the circle so I could see his peers, and he did so. He started screaming, "I shouldn't have to worship you!" Click. We shifted into disordered thinking right there. I looked at him, acknowledged his comment, and he escalated. It ended in a huge tantrum, started by a conversation. Lesson learned? I'm not going to talk to him about money anymore.
We don't often speak about the times when our clients respond and react to us and what we do in ways that are not what was expected. Do we? I think we need to. Sometimes we get responses that indicate growth and connection. Sometimes we get responses that are not proportional to the situation at all. Sometimes we get no response at all.
What is a therapist to do when a client responds in a way that is unexpected?
Respond, of course. How I respond to every situation adds to the experience of the client. I often acknowledge emotion, communication, and words, providing support and options for how to work within those situations. I use my tool, music, to reflect what I am told or to reinforce that which I want. Sometimes I simply sit in awe and amazement.
I am going to head to work today, eager to see if the absurd moments continue or if they were a yesterday-anomaly. I am going to sit in my same hallway duty spot and wait for the first client to walk by. I wonder if he'll even see me there today. We shall see.
Happy Wednesday, all.
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