Coping Skills: Practice What I Preach

One of the things that I talk to my clients about ALL OF THE TIME is coping skill development. My clients are often extremely impulsive and do not have any type of control over their emotional responses, so we all stress the need for coping skills. My kids hear about coping skills in art therapy, in music therapy, in play therapy, in talk therapy, and in other areas as well. We all are on the coping skill bandwagon and hope to assist our clients in finding their ways of coping with situations in their lives.

One of the things that is often missing in coping skill development is modelling within a situation or circumstance. We, the adults, talk about using coping skills, but we are often in complete control of our own emotions when doing so. We strive to be calm, in control, and exemplars of what we look like when we have internalized our coping skill strategies. We don't often demonstrate what skills we use in order to keep ourselves calm - we just do them.

My goal for this week is to identify my own coping skills and then start to discuss them within sessions with the clients who need them. I already know some of my coping skills, but specifically thinking about something makes it easier to identify what is actually happening.

MJ's coping skills (as of right now)

1. Breathing - purposeful belly breathing helps me keep myself calm. I use this skill lots with my clients. I lead them in deep breathing which allows me to engage in the same skill!
2. Screaming - there are times when a good scream makes things better. Other than being very loud, screams don't really hurt anyone else, so scream!!
3. Journaling/Blogging - I write about what's going on in my life - the facts, the fictions, the good and the bad. Writing helps me figure out what is going on both inside of me and outside of me.
4. Commuting - there is something really valuable for me in the 45 minutes that I spend every morning and again in the afternoon on work days. I (usually) enjoy that time alone to process the events of the day.

Isn't it interesting that coping skills often mirror our self-care skills? Be mindful of how you take care of yourself and how you cope with difficult situations this week.