What Is It With People These Days?
Lately, I've been involved in several situations where folks have been caught up in conflict. These conflicts have been strange and things that shouldn't have really been a big deal but others have become confrontational and the situations have spiraled out of control. In one of my roles, I often act as mediator between parties who are very upset with one another. It is not my favorite part of the job, but it's essential (especially just recently).
One of the things that I talk to interns about is being able to engage others in crucial conversations. I'll be talking to internship directors and supervising music therapists about this as well during the AMTA National Conference in Louisville. I think we don't really know how to communicate with each other nowadays. I feel this is evidenced through the conflict between therapists, interns, students, and other professionals that seems to happen on a daily basis around me...
Communication is a skill that is crucial to our lives as therapists, but I think we often ignore the skills that we hone when working with our clients when we are speaking to other professionals. It's important to use good communication when we are interacting with other professionals and, especially, with other music therapists.
What is a crucial conversation?
It's a conversation where important information must be communicated, understood by all parties, and acted upon by members of the communication dyad. This may be a discussion between a music therapist and an intern. It may be a talk between a client and a caregiver, or even one of the infamous elevator discussions that we have on a regular basis. All of these conversations are crucial for very different reasons but are still crucial.
So, how do you engage in such a conversation?
First, learn about active listening and conflict resolution. There are tons of resources out there that can help with these tasks.
Second, focus on the information that has to be shared with the other party. Seek a common pool of understanding - does everyone involved actually understand what is going on or what has to be communicated? Try to clarify any misunderstandings that are present.
Third, present the information to all parties, using clear language, limited emotion, and "I" statements. Allow each party in the conversation to state their views without interruption. Avoid emotion and do not assign blame to the other party. Avoid the word, "you." If you cannot remain calm, reschedule until you have cooled off.
Fourth, document everything! Keep the paper trail up-to-date.
Fifth, adjust the current situation to accommodate the plan made during the conversation. If you need to update policies to be more clear, do that. If you need to change procedures, do that as well.
Here are some resources that I have used to increase my own knowledge of active listening and conflict resolution.
When you have to engage in a crucial conversation, it's important that all parties be interested in seeking a solution to a problem. If one member of the conversation will not be authentic in the process, then the conversation will not work. In those cases, it may be wise to terminate the relationship.
If you are interested in more information, don't hesitate to contact me.
One of the things that I talk to interns about is being able to engage others in crucial conversations. I'll be talking to internship directors and supervising music therapists about this as well during the AMTA National Conference in Louisville. I think we don't really know how to communicate with each other nowadays. I feel this is evidenced through the conflict between therapists, interns, students, and other professionals that seems to happen on a daily basis around me...
Communication is a skill that is crucial to our lives as therapists, but I think we often ignore the skills that we hone when working with our clients when we are speaking to other professionals. It's important to use good communication when we are interacting with other professionals and, especially, with other music therapists.
What is a crucial conversation?
It's a conversation where important information must be communicated, understood by all parties, and acted upon by members of the communication dyad. This may be a discussion between a music therapist and an intern. It may be a talk between a client and a caregiver, or even one of the infamous elevator discussions that we have on a regular basis. All of these conversations are crucial for very different reasons but are still crucial.
So, how do you engage in such a conversation?
First, learn about active listening and conflict resolution. There are tons of resources out there that can help with these tasks.
Second, focus on the information that has to be shared with the other party. Seek a common pool of understanding - does everyone involved actually understand what is going on or what has to be communicated? Try to clarify any misunderstandings that are present.
Third, present the information to all parties, using clear language, limited emotion, and "I" statements. Allow each party in the conversation to state their views without interruption. Avoid emotion and do not assign blame to the other party. Avoid the word, "you." If you cannot remain calm, reschedule until you have cooled off.
Fourth, document everything! Keep the paper trail up-to-date.
Fifth, adjust the current situation to accommodate the plan made during the conversation. If you need to update policies to be more clear, do that. If you need to change procedures, do that as well.
Here are some resources that I have used to increase my own knowledge of active listening and conflict resolution.
ore on
Listening: http://www.wikihow.com/Listen
If you are interested in more information, don't hesitate to contact me.
Learning
to Listen:
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