The Ups and Downs of Being Human
Ah, I am human.
This is a fact that I am reminded of on a regular basis, and I have to keep myself grounded with this thought, "I am human, and I am that way on purpose!"
In almost every intern's time with me, I have the "embrace being human" discussion. This generally starts with a conversation about "I should have known to do fill-in-the-blank during my last music therapy session." My response is almost always, "Why should you have known fill-in-the-blank? Have you ever tried it before?" "No." "Then why do you have to know everything right now?"
My point is always that none of us are perfect, born knowing everything about every single client during every single session. Yet, many of us therapists blame ourselves when things do not flow as we want them to. We often say things like, "If only I had tried this things would have been better." "I should have known that Client would have screamed when I played this song." "I should have chosen Song B instead of Song A." We always seem to have 20/20 hindsight when it comes to our therapeutic interventions, but never within the session itself.
Being human.
For me, being a human therapist means trying my best in every session, every therapeutic music experience (TME), and every therapeutic relationship that I have. It does not mean that I will be perfect in every thing that I do. I cannot do that. I am human!
If I make a poor choice during a session, I reflect on how I will try things differently next time. If I have things happening in a session that I do not want, I try my best to change my interaction - musical, personal, attitude, something - to improve that happening. If I make a better choice, great. If I make another poor choice, I keep altering my interactions until I make a better choice. And so on, and so on, and so on. I am human.
Lately, my interns have been expressing some statements with me that I find a bit amusing and a bit disturbing. The comments include things like, "But you are so much better than me that I feel that the clients don't get good music therapy when I lead the session." Eeergh! Do you think that being a practiced music therapist happens overnight? OF COURSE NOT! I have 21 years of professional practice under my belt, and I STILL have those days when I am way off in my interactions with my clients! We are all human!
Past, present, and future interns of mine - know that I am human. I am prone to making mistakes, not choosing the best way of doing something, and of acting before thinking. Know that I can only promise you that I will try my best and let you know when I am not up to my best. Please be patient with me. I am not perfect and NEVER will be! Accept that, and accept that you are also not perfect and that I don't expect you to be at any time during your internships.
Let's embrace our humanity!
Here's one of my small steps. I remind myself that I do not have to be perfect, but I do need to acknowledge my mistakes, own them, and learn from them. It is important to admit when I don't know something. It is important to keep trying. While I am doing all of those things, I also need to acknowledge my successes, triumphs, and relationships and own those experiences just as much as the negatives. I have to celebrate my humanity, because, if I don't, I may fall into the fatal flaw of thinking that I know everything. When I start to do that, I lose sight of what is most important - my clients. They are the entire reason why I do what I do. They are human and need to see that I am as well.
This is a fact that I am reminded of on a regular basis, and I have to keep myself grounded with this thought, "I am human, and I am that way on purpose!"
In almost every intern's time with me, I have the "embrace being human" discussion. This generally starts with a conversation about "I should have known to do fill-in-the-blank during my last music therapy session." My response is almost always, "Why should you have known fill-in-the-blank? Have you ever tried it before?" "No." "Then why do you have to know everything right now?"
My point is always that none of us are perfect, born knowing everything about every single client during every single session. Yet, many of us therapists blame ourselves when things do not flow as we want them to. We often say things like, "If only I had tried this things would have been better." "I should have known that Client would have screamed when I played this song." "I should have chosen Song B instead of Song A." We always seem to have 20/20 hindsight when it comes to our therapeutic interventions, but never within the session itself.
Being human.
For me, being a human therapist means trying my best in every session, every therapeutic music experience (TME), and every therapeutic relationship that I have. It does not mean that I will be perfect in every thing that I do. I cannot do that. I am human!
If I make a poor choice during a session, I reflect on how I will try things differently next time. If I have things happening in a session that I do not want, I try my best to change my interaction - musical, personal, attitude, something - to improve that happening. If I make a better choice, great. If I make another poor choice, I keep altering my interactions until I make a better choice. And so on, and so on, and so on. I am human.
Lately, my interns have been expressing some statements with me that I find a bit amusing and a bit disturbing. The comments include things like, "But you are so much better than me that I feel that the clients don't get good music therapy when I lead the session." Eeergh! Do you think that being a practiced music therapist happens overnight? OF COURSE NOT! I have 21 years of professional practice under my belt, and I STILL have those days when I am way off in my interactions with my clients! We are all human!
Past, present, and future interns of mine - know that I am human. I am prone to making mistakes, not choosing the best way of doing something, and of acting before thinking. Know that I can only promise you that I will try my best and let you know when I am not up to my best. Please be patient with me. I am not perfect and NEVER will be! Accept that, and accept that you are also not perfect and that I don't expect you to be at any time during your internships.
Let's embrace our humanity!
Here's one of my small steps. I remind myself that I do not have to be perfect, but I do need to acknowledge my mistakes, own them, and learn from them. It is important to admit when I don't know something. It is important to keep trying. While I am doing all of those things, I also need to acknowledge my successes, triumphs, and relationships and own those experiences just as much as the negatives. I have to celebrate my humanity, because, if I don't, I may fall into the fatal flaw of thinking that I know everything. When I start to do that, I lose sight of what is most important - my clients. They are the entire reason why I do what I do. They are human and need to see that I am as well.
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