music, therapy, and me

I have to admit that I now have enough money to purchase many of my music therapy instruments, but there were times when I was unable to spend money on the luxuries of things like shaker eggs or tambourines. In those cases, I learned how to make many of the instruments that I wanted to use with my clients.  Making instruments takes time, and time is valuable, so keep that in mind when you are making budget decisions. So, how did I make instruments? I looked through every single Bible School curriculum that I had access to. I searched through kids' books about crafts and making things. I used the internet to find resources. I scrounged through my recycling to find materials. I bought lots of glue and mod podge and tissue paper and duct tape. I would make things and then bring them into my clinical environment to test them. (My clients are WONDERFUL at breaking things, so they are the ultimate test for all my instruments!) Then, I would take the pieces back and figure out what to do ...

Let me start off this post by saying that the non-profit organization that I work with has a new CEO. Recently, this CEO - a person who has worked for the organization for about 5 or 7 years now (I don't really know) in two different positions - sent out an inspirational email about how we should be giving our work 150% at all times. The CEO stated that she does this, and all the rest of us should do this as well. I have to tell you that this really rubbed a hole in my brain and is something that I have been thinking about over the past week while I was resting at home away from work.  I no longer feel that work deserves 150% of my energy, or my thinking, or my time. I just don't think that work needs this type of dedication. I have struggled with having work boundaries in the past and getting this expectation sent to my inbox just stirred up all the guilt, all the thoughts, and all the goblins of the past. So, this past week has been full of thinking. That's the best thing...

I am not always able to be positive about things that happen outside of my home and work routine. There are so many things happening in the world that I often feel overwhelmed when I start to pay attention. Due to this, I tend to isolate from the news and from conversations about big things or events. When I do pay attention, I tend to get bogged down in negativity and struggle with finding positive things around me. This is something that I try to combat every day. I find that I do much better mentally when I find something positive to focus on during my early mornings. I have a daily happiness practice where I find something happy about my day or my existence. It is often something really small but it is always an important part of my morning. Finding one positive thing helps me shed the feelings of negativity that comes around. Now, this is my habit and my gratitude process. I hope that you have one of your own - it doesn't have to be what I do - find your own way to see positiv...

I am thankful that this week is almost over. Not because of any one thing happening, but just because I need some time away from holding the anger of clients who will not be celebrating holidays with people that they love. I need some time to shed the despair of children who do not understand why they can't go home when they want to go home. I also need to rest up for the sessions next week and the continuation of all of these feelings for the next month. There is something humbling when you realize that you are a safe space for big emotions. I had this realization yesterday when a client became very angry because I turned down the amplifier that was starting to crackle. This client requires very little to get angry, and the anger turns into disruption and aggression really quickly. This is the second week in a row that I was the reason for an emotional outburst while in music therapy. I finally had the thought that music therapy is a safe space to express emotion, and that helped ...

I am currently knee-deep in library books - one of the benefits of having some professional time behind me - I could get to the library in the morning on a weekday. So, I have ten books to read in the next month, and I am only 2/3 of the way finished with the first book. This is because it is a confusing Star Wars book that is taking more time than usual to read. I am enjoying it to the point of wanting to savor every word, so I am reading it in bits and pieces. I am going to take it with me to work today to read in my lunch period. I enjoy going to the library and pulling books off the shelf at random. I have never held a book, but I want to because I found a good book by Anne Perry (the William Monk series), and I want to start from the start of the series. I will try that once I get through this stack of books. I usually just roam and pick things that feel interesting to me. I am strictly a fiction type of reader. I don't like many nonfiction topics, but I will occasionally come...

How to be thrifty? I think that this will become more of a focus for me in the next several years as I transition from full-time work at my current job to retirement and other work in a politically charged environment where I will not be better off. I've lived through this thing before, and I know from experience that I will not be better off once I retire. (One year and seven months from now... not that I'm counting or anything!) Some of my current plans will have to change to accommodate new experiences and taxes and the loss of Social Security or a change in the retirement age - all things that are currently being discussed. I am a bit in panic mode about all of this, but I also know that I will be okay. I do not plan on being completely retired once I leave my school job. I intend to take my pension after 30 years of work at my current facility, and then I also intend to work somewhere while working on my side hustles. I will still need health insurance and something to do ...

I took my second of three three-day weekends this past weekend, and now I am facing the need to actually go to work for the next four days. After that, I will have another three-day weekend and then work for two days, and then I get a five-day weekend. November is back to how I prefer it - limited work time. My first foray into professional development came to via Kanopy - it was a 90's documentary on Music and Movement. It was geared towards preschool teachers, but it was a good reminder of the research behind pairing music and movement for learning outcomes. All of the non-development things that I tried this weekend were thwarted by outside influences. The eye doctor could not verify if my appointment was covered. I was offered the opportunity to pay the entire cost (before tests) and to try to get reimbursement. I opted not to do so. This new insurance company really stinks compared to what we had for the past two years. It is also more expensive (of course). The grocery order ...