music, therapy, and me

Making time is something that I struggle with on a regular basis. Making time to practice or to write things down or compose stuff for my clinical interactions with my students or...well, you get it. It's not that I don't have time, it's just that I don't always use my time wisely. My brain stops functioning well about 2pm, and that's when I have the time to sit down and do these types of tasks. It's a quandary, so I try my best to push thoughts into and through my head. I am currently in a TME type of creative slump. I stopped doing some monthly creation and have slipped out of the habit of writing my TMEs down. I haven't been trying to change this as of late, but I think that it is time to get back into the habit of writing TMEs and designing stuff for my clinic again. I wrote two TMEs last week. One was inspired by my intern's TME and the other was an idea that I started a long time ago and I was finally able to finish up. I had such a feeling of acco...

This is going to be a quick post because I am late to start my morning. I spent a bit too much time luxuriating in clean, warm sheets this morning and am now trying to catch up a bit. I am going to leave my house later than usual so I can take advantage of some more time here at home before heading out into this week of holiday festivities... So, in a former iteration of my life as a music therapist, I spent lots of time talking to music therapy professionals about being internship directors. I led trainings and encouraged many therapists to be internship supervisors, and it has always amazed me at how little coursework is out there for intern supervisors and even less is out there for internship directors. As a practical person, I like to think about the practical elements and things that happen when you take an intern into your clinical setting. If that is something that you are interested in learning about, then keep reading! This post is for you. Being an internship director is dif...

Let me get this out here from the beginning. I did no professional reading this week. I moved my books to my comfy papasan chair to encourage me to read, but I didn't touch them other than that. They are still sitting where I placed them, but now they are covered by the towels that I have used this week. The towels will be going upstairs because it is laundry day, but the books will stay put.  Yesterday, I wrote a very long post about my current state of being, but I did not publish it. There are times when I write but I don't share. I was able to work through some of my thoughts and expectations that I put on myself in a way that allowed me to distance my emotions from my realities. The last thing I did before sleep last night was to draw my goblins - my woulda, coulda, and shoulda goblins.  If you don't know, one of the things that indicates to me that my emotional brain is taking over and I need to do some self-regulation exercises is an increase in the woulda, coulda, s...

If you are new to this blog, then just know that I am a bullet journaler (sorta), and I tend to write about my journals on a regular basis. I love blank books - I make them, I buy them, I use them for all sorts of things. I have a personal journal that has a theme to it, but most of my journals are functional rather than decorative. What this means to me is that I don't spend much time making pages look pretty in my working journals. My personal journal, on the other hand, is a place where I spend some time with decorating my calendar pages - but, even that goes by the wayside when I am tired or pressed for time. So, let's get into the journal systems that I have in place. Journal #1 is my personal journal. Like I mentioned, it has a theme, and the theme I selected is Star Wars. Again, if you have been a reader of this blog for awhile now, you know that I am a Star Wars fan from the very first time I saw the first movie in a drive-in movie theater. So, having Star Wars as a the...

Oh. It is December, and my students are demonstrating that it is December through every atom in their bodies. Kids cannot focus - or will not focus - in some cases, the former - in others, the latter. To add to the chaos that is December, my administrators have decided to switch kids all around into different classes, so all classes are different right now. We are all in a constant state of "picking our battles" and "going with the flow" and "be patient because we aren't fully staffed." This means that all sorts of stressors are showing up in the music therapy room, and, being a humanistic therapist, I then respond by attempting to provide a place to release those emotions.  Next week is a week of interruptions to our schedule. This will both exacerbate and relieve some of the stress and holiday hype happening. I will get a chance to cancel some sessions since the festivities are during the school days. That will complicate my life because I live by my...

Yesterday, I ended the day feeling that I was pretty productive. I didn't feel that I had wasted my time on unproductive things. I was able to see progress in many places - I wrote two TMEs, made a puzzle, set up some sorting systems for one of the classrooms, and observed my intern's group sessions. I did not lead any group sessions on my own - that isn't something I do on Tuesdays, well - until January when I'll be getting one of the classes that has been empty back onto my schedule - but I did get to do individual sessions. Today, I have four of six sessions and one individual session. My intern does significantly less leading and significantly more observing on Wednesdays. I wonder why I did this to myself knowing that Wednesdays are long and tiring days for me already. Today's Wednesday schedule includes an additional duty for my part-time job as a church music director and worship leader. We are doing the Angel Service of Remembrance tonight. Three years ago, ...

When I was in college, the word, "improvisation" caused my brain to freeze, all of the knowledge that I had of music leak out of my ears, and shot me into a state of high anxiety. I blame Mr. Olson, my junior high band director who would try to make me improvise solos in jazz band, stated that there were so many rules and yet, no rules at all, and didn't understand that I had no idea what I was doing in seventh grade but would ridicule me and the others when we didn't do anything really cohesive. I was not comfortable with the concept of improvisation until I went off to my internship. At my internship, I also struggled with this concept. My internship supervisors, Sheryl, Mary, and Angie, kept encouraging me to break away from a session plan, especially with my individual clients. I was petrified of letting go of the compositions and just finding my way through music. So, I had to figure out what I was doing. My problem? I was all mired down in the music theory of it...