A Crucial Conversation - I Hate These Situations

One of the modules I offer for free to interns is one on Crucial Conversations. It was suggested by an anonymous intern quite a while ago as something that would be valuable to other interns - basically, how to talk to someone when you are in a conflict of some sort. We talk about conflict resolution, active listening, and attempting to remain rational rather than emotional.

I am going to have a crucial conversation today (I hope).

Scheduling for next year has turned into a hot mess. We are adding another classroom, so things will have to change, but everyone is having hissy fits about changing ANYTHING! I am going to engage in my own hissy fit today because I am tired of being the only one who has to change to accommodate the demands of other people.

I am not a person who enjoys confrontation. I tend to go straight into my defensive mode of crying when I have to talk about things that affect my emotions. Anger is expressed through crying. Frustration is expressed through crying. Interestingly, I rarely express sadness through crying.

I need several things to happen during this crucial conversation. I need an apology for being set up as the scapegoat for a scheduling debacle. it was unfair to me to be named as someone who did something that was so obviously wrong without prior notice. I did not need to be the one who was sent accusatory emails by so-called "team members." I need a decision about how we are going to do our schedules from now on. If the goal is common planning time, then we are going to have to change from what we do now to something new. If the goal is just to have services provided without the need for common planning time, then I need the permission to set up my schedule my way - not to have someone else make my schedule for me. I also then need those changes to be announced to the entire faculty so that they know what is happening.


Time to practice what I preach about conflict resolution.

One of the things that I emphasize about getting out of conflicts is the need to seek a win-win situation. I know, going into this, that I will not get everything I think I need out of the conversation, but I must have some accommodations and results. So, I need a chance to talk about what is bothering me and then some support in finding a resolution that provides consistent information to all staff members. I need to stay in my rational mind and not get into my emotional mind. (Ugh. That one is difficult for me.) I need to remain assertive, avoid accusations, but still communicate clearly about my needs.

I am dreading this already. With my luck, the principal will be gone today and all this angst will have to be repeated tomorrow and the day after before it can be resolved.

This will be a difficult process, but one that is necessary and valuable to my continued presence at the facility.

If you are interested in more information about conflict resolution, comment below. I have some good resources on my powerpoint presentation...

I'm also available for webinars and discussions...