Misery and Itching and Sneezing, Oh My!

It continues. 

The relentless allergy response is still going on. I am hoping that the rains that are here for the next several days will wash that pollen right out of my air, but who knows if it will help or hurt my particular brand of allergies. It is morphing (of course) into more breathing issues and skin itching, so that's just kinda par for the course. I did not sleep well last night either - no particular reason, just didn't feel like sleeping at my usual time. That made getting up this morning more difficult for some reason.

I do not want to go to work today. My suitemates are leaving this week, and the first leaving is happening today. I am also tired, dizzy, and not interested in doing music with my clients today.

I will drag myself to work to say goodbye and to do music with a bunch of clients.

I find that it is easier to be leaving than it is being left. I think this informs my grief process and makes grieving something to dread. Somehow, with my suitemates leaving (both of whom have worked with me almost all of the time I've been at the facility), I am faced with grief that I will not experience when it is my time to leave (thirteen weeks from now).

Things change. In the past week, we have had about five clients leave and five clients arrive. Some of the clients who have left have been with us at the facility for three years. Some for just a little bit of time, but each leaving is difficult to navigate from a grief perspective. I tell my clients that I am happy for them that they are moving on while still being sad for me and the loss of the relationship. I feel that with almost every client. (There are exceptions, though.)

Today is the beginning of my biggest change - the official retirement date of my suitemate. Friday is the last day of my other suitemate, and the office spaces that they occupy will not be used for their replacements. The new music therapist will get to use those spaces. I am not going to bother to try because I am just tired of moving things around. I have to focus on getting my own materials out and home.

For now, I need to get myself moving. Five groups today to get through. I am not going to wear shoes with laces because it is April Fool's Day, and my students love the "your shoe is untied" trick. I try to thwart them in their attempts to fool me. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!


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