music, therapy, and me

I am sick today. I get sick quite often in my role as a school-based music therapist and getting sick often complicates the time I have with my interns. I realize that you can read that last phrase two different ways (at least), and both iterations seem to be appropriate, in this case. I always have a plan for what interns do on the days when I have to be gone unexpectedly, but there are times when I have difficulty getting my co-workers to understand the plan. That's a whole other topic, though. Let's focus on the point that I am trying to make right now. There will be times when you, a music therapy intern supervisor, will have to take a sick day. This is going to happen, so you have to figure out what your interns will do when you have to be gone. It is better to have a clear plan that you share with your interns than to have to figure it out as you go along. Over the 25 years that I have trained interns, I have had more absences in the last 10 years than in the first 15. So...

Today is my day for thinking. You might think that it is strange to have a day set aside for thinking, but that's how my current medication regimen is going - Thursdays are the days where I have more medication involvement happening later due to a delayed dosage on Wednesday evenings. As a result of my schedule and my medications, I have to take a bit more time on Thursday mornings before I get into my car and hurtle down the road to work. So, I set Thursdays aside for thinking. This open-ended type of post theme allows me to go wherever my brain takes me in my writing moments. I often start off without a theme in mind, and then something comes up. Right now, I am working on sorting through all sorts of thoughts on all sorts of topics and situations - most of which I cannot change or control. Jazz band seems to be going great. We have had lots of discussions about music preference opinions and allowing others to hold opinions different from our own. We have worked on our auditory d...

It is Wednesday, my busiest group day of the week. I have not been sleeping well lately, for unknown reasons, so I am starting my day in a headachey, somewhat crabby state. This does not bode well for the six groups, team meeting, and choir practice that has to happen before this day is finished. We are doing jazz band exploration this week. We talk a little about the origin of jazz and more about the instruments that we find in jazz ensembles. We also spend time playing some of the instruments. Some of my students take turns playing instruments. Some of my students learn a bit more about the ensemble itself. Others get to play the big instruments that they do not get to play often, like the bass, the drum set, and the keyboard. It is a noisy week, to be sure, but one that my students seem to enjoy. I try to highlight an instrument or an ensemble every month, but I've been off with my topic rotation lately due to interns, scheduling, inclement weather days, etc. Fortunately, I do n...

There are some things that I am convinced I will never finish up, and one of those things is my therapeutic music experience (TME) database. I think the lack of completion of this project is a good thing since it means that I am constantly finding and developing new TMEs to use with my clients. It also means that there is always more work to be done. Always more work. I recently updated my TME file to include the TMEs that I had my intern complete as part of the assignments of the internship program. All I have finished, at this point, is the list of the TMEs that the intern wrote up and the intern's name as author. I still have to go through each of the files, change the author (if necessary), update the purpose statement of each TME, and then link it to the correct folder so future me (and future interns) can click the title and find the complete TME. The other task that I am undergoing this semester is updating the TME database to reflect the files that are in the TME file itsel...

It is official. It is Snow Day #4 for my students, and since the roads are icy, I am at home and plan on staying here. I am scared of ice and have spent too many hours in ditches and after accidents to risk leaving my home. I am still trying to quash the feelings of guilt that occur when I do not go in on these types of days, and I know that I could use the time off later, but I am still here at home. Safety is more important than time off. Anyway, this entire situation is made a bit easier because I do not have an intern right now. All I have to do is navigate my own life situation rather than that of an intern who needs clinical hours, and that fact is helpful today. With the absence of an intern in my program, there are other things that are a bit more simple now. I am a proponent of taking breaks from being an internship supervisor on a regular basis. I do not actively recruit interns to my open positions because I need breaks from being mentor and coach. I just need to be therapis...

I woke up a bit later than I usually do (for the second day in a row), and I started my blogging routine after checking email and fiddling around with social media and all that. Going to my blog archive and starting up the random number generator is just something that I enjoy, so it was fun to get started with all of this today. The random number generator spat out the number #2281. This led me to a post from September 16, 2019, titled "What Do I Really Want?"  I always find it interesting to see what I was thinking back when. This one is a good reminder of things that I am working on right now. My word for 2019 was "courage." I selected a second word as well; "renewal." This post is a bit of a revealing discourse about me and some of my attitudes towards things that happen in the music therapy world and things that happen in my own life. I tend to go into periods of reflection and self-recrimination, and this seems to be me on the verge of this thing. As...

Yesterday was the first day where I was "therapist" in seven and a half months. I ran six groups with students from all of our educational pods, and it was glorious! I was greeted with one cry of dismay and another cry of heartfelt welcome, so things evened out. Today, I return as "therapist" for three groups and two individuals, and I am ready. I work in a special purpose school at a psychiatric residential treatment facility. My students come from all over this corner of my state as well as from other states. Some of my students come for the school day only, while others live at the facility for active treatment during all waking hours. I am not an itinerant therapist - I have a large, lovely, muraled, spacious room. (My only complaint about my room is the lack of windows, but I am happy to not have windows when I have a room where we can throw balls, use long ribbon sticks, and breakdance on the floor without touching other people! My students are between the age...

I stayed in my house yesterday, and I did absolutely nothing of note. Today, I am heading back to work because we are finally experiencing above zero temperatures and are having school rather than snow days. The snow starts up again tonight and tomorrow, so we may have more snow days this semester. In fact, I think this might be an eight-day snow day year. We will see. I used to drive in for snow days, and I have an overnight kit at work right now, just in case. I feel guilty that I am not going in for snow days these days, but I know that it is safer for me to stay home than it is to try to drive on ice. This year, I want the alternate days off, but I have to be at work to get them. In the past two weeks, I have not felt like leaving my house to try to drive on the ice, so I have remained home on our three inclement weather days. My rational mind knows that it is a safe plan, but my emotional mind is steeped in guilt that I am not there to provide music therapy for the residents of my...

Back in January of 2020, I was getting ready for something that I never thought I could do - an exhibition table at the Midwestern Regional Conference. I was producing file folders, small books and keychains, digital links, and several copies of my books to take with me to Lincoln, Nebraska for the conference. I was excited to figure out how to do this part of the job of a music therapy creator when BAM! Well, you know what happened in March of 2020, so I won't dwell. Since that time, I have cooled off with my production habits. I have focused on making things that I could use in my clinic, and those things have not often been original files. I have focused on making things from other creators and have not done as much as I would like on my own. Yesterday, I spent about an hour to two (I didn't really keep track) preparing 80 file folders to use to make visual aids. I trimmed off the flaps on the side so the folders will fit in my laminating pouches, and then I affixed stickers...

Tomorrow is the first day that I will be at my job without an intern in seven and a half months. I am ready for a break from being mentor and coach and supervisor. I need times when I am just therapist, and this is one of those times. Fortunately, it coincided with no applications for my January or March start dates, so I didn't have to deny anyone a position. I am just taking this break since it is happening. This is also happening at the same time I am trying to decide if I want to continue as a member of AMTA and also as an ID. Today, though, is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, so I am at home, trying to figure out what I am going to do next. I do not intend on leaving my home at all today - it is just too cold to spend any amount of time outside - but I also have my session strategies figured out for the next several days, so I can stay in and try to thaw out one of my toilets. It has frozen - again - so it needs to be thawed out before it bursts. That is completely a tangent, thou...

It is here - the return of my nostalgia posts where I look back at a blog post that I wrote a bit ago. I select these posts using a random number generator, and today, I decided that I would start to select the number once I reached 24 seconds of number generation. Today's number is 3314 - a post from August 2023 - a recent look back.  This post is all about the topic meetings that I strive to use during the time interns are with me (- and, it reminds me of a project that I wanted to get finished for my fellow intern supervisors that I never started. Add it to the list of things that I want to do). We did some of these topics, my former intern and I, but we did not do them the two times that I would like to do with every intern. This is my way of ensuring that we talk about the administrative tasks that are part of being a full-time music therapy clinician. During topic meetings, we address how to do things that I do all the time. I would like to flesh this series out a bit more a...

Dear American Music Therapy Association: I am debating long and hard about remaining in this relationship. I have been in this relationship since college, and this is not a decision that I am taking lightly or without great cost.  I am not happy with what you are bringing to this relationship. Now, I have been a selfish partner over the past several years - mainly because I am not feeling like we share a common mission anymore. It is easy for me to place the blame on you, but I know that this is not all on me. I have tried to be invested in communication and support and understanding, but everyone comes to a time where enough is enough. I am trying very hard to decide if the benefits that you provide to me are worth the feelings that I have about where I think you and I are going. I am not sure that our destination is the same anymore, and this makes me sad. To be completely honest, I am only in this relationship these days for the music therapy interns. I don't think that is a hea...

Friday is finally here, and it looks like my morning commute will not be as difficult as I thought it would be. At least, that is what I am still hoping. It is about 4:40 am, and I am trying to figure out when I will leave my house and head out into the wind chilly world. I have an intern graduation today. FINALLY! We were thwarted in our efforts to get this internship finished by Mother Nature who sent snow and ice on Tuesday and Wednesday leading to snow days due to impassible roads. Today, we are going in NO MATTER WHAT because it is time for my intern to get done with it all!!  I was asked if I was doing a celebration for my intern. I do not do that because every time I plan a party of any sort, something happens that prevents people from attending. I've had to take interns to the emergency room on party days. Once is just bad luck, but I've also planned parties and then accidents closed down the highway getting to the venue. Water mains break on my party days. Ice storms. ...

Yesterday, at this time, I was getting ready to spend the night at my job. About halfway through the day, though, I remembered that my Christmas boxes were supposed to be delivered. I did not want two large boxes to sit on my porch for two days, getting covered by snow, and tempting other people to take them. My father's (and mine as well) cornet was shipped this time around. If I lost that, I would be heart broken as it is something we shared. So, I drove home yesterday afternoon, pulled in the boxes, and decided that I would try to get to work this morning through the storm. I have now decided that I will not be doing that. All of the roads between here and work are completely covered with snow and ice. While I would love the extra sick time, I am not all that willing to risk my life by sliding off roads and into ditches on completely covered roads. It has happened before, and I am determined that it will not happen to me again. So, I now have a day at home without plans. This is...

I have a suspicion that tomorrow will be our first snow day of the season, and I have an intern who needs to finish up hours before graduating on Wednesday. I do not want to extend the internship again, so I am planning on being present during our snow day, even if I have to spend the night in my office rather than driving home. I am currently sitting here, waiting to take my shower and head out because I do not want to get to work too early, especially since I am planning on staying there for the entire night. Right now, there is only one school district in the area we serve that has closed - on one website - all of the others are not registering any closings that affect my clients. I get an incentive to show up on inclement weather days - an additional day off to use when I need it. I will add this upcoming snow day to my sick time so I can have some more of that time. My intern is expected to graduate on Wednesday. We need 26 more hours to reach the 1020 hours needed by AMTA and my ...

Please excuse me as I deviate from my usual Sunday post to talk about today, and its significance to my family. This is my mother's birthday. It is also the day that my father died, three years ago. This day is hard to navigate because while Dad died on this date, it is also a day for celebrating my Mother. It is hard to do both. As a result, I try to mark the anniversary of my Dad's death the day before rather than on today's date. This year, I am reminded of my parents' mortality more than I have been in the last two years. My mom got sick and had to be in the hospital for five days just recently. We didn't know what was going on, and it was pretty scary. We were able to rule out lots of things - not a heart condition, not the gallbladder, things like that - but it took a long time to figure out what was going on. It turns out that it was a reaction to the medication her cardiologist prescribed. She is now off that medication and seeing all sorts of new doctors to...

My intern is getting ready to graduate from my program, and I will be a solo therapist starting next week. I am looking forward to it. I am always happy to see my interns go - this isn't because of them, but because I got into music therapy to be a music therapist not an observer of music therapy. When I am supervising, I am not doing music therapy as much as I want, and that is difficult. I am getting my topic plans finished for this month. We are going to do the country of the month next week (it's Australia), my intern graduates in the middle of the week, and then I will continue with the country for the last two groups that will not see it before my intern graduates. After that, I will get back into my rotation of country, music education concept, instrument, and musician of the month. When there is a fifth week or a partial week, I focus on a technology/career concept. In addition to these general categories for my rotation, I also have monthly themes to incorporate. The c...