This Is Shaping Up to Be a Late Day

I did not want to get up. This seems to be a recurring theme on this blog at the moment, so forgive me when I try to pick this apart right now.

I did not want to get up. I wanted to sleep as much as I could, but the clock and the alarm light insisted that it was 4am, and time to get going. So I did. Wasn't happy about it, but I got up. I played some phone games while in bed first, but I did eventually rise from my warm, cozy bed to sit at my computer and compose some of my thoughts.

We had a snow day on Monday, but that day started with early morning panic and anxiety rather than coziness. I got up just fine yesterday and got to work 30 minutes before my report for duty time. Today is a different story.

This is my typical Tuesday feeling, and it came right on time for yet another 4 day work week. I haven't seen one of my groups for six weeks now, and I find that I am missing them. I see all of my other Monday groups on Wednesdays, so I am not missing those clients - we are still interacting, but that one group is only once per week, and they haven't had music therapy for a very long time. We will see what they think when I finally get to see them again.

My body is not allowing me to do much these days, and that is something that I do not like about myself right now. Some of what is happening inside this flesh bag can be changed but other things cannot. It is interesting how much the body affects the mind and vice versa. My body tends to be more prone to things like arthritis and sciatica, so pain is something that is often part of my interactions with the world. That might be one reason why moving from a prone, cozy, relaxed position to one where I am constantly fighting against gravity is such a difficulty. The medications that I take for the pain also affect the way I think, so I have a period of time before I fully trust my brain to respond to outside stimuli.

I can tell you - growing older is not for the weak of heart.

This is Musician of the Month and leisure focus week in my clinic, so I am engaging students in different forms of play. Yesterday, I sat on the floor with a group of adolescents, and we played with blocks while listening to their preferred music. I was able to get three students engaged in block play - all teenagers, and all different types of teens, if you get my drift. We played and talked about different things. It was a good interaction through play, and it is something that my clients do not do naturally. They have to be led into play.

I will do something different with my groups today. We will still work on developing leisure skills, but I am not sure if anyone will want to create things with the blocks with me. We will see.

My brain is starting to twitch with the "you are going to be late" patterns that happen when I try to have a late day, but I still have things that I need to do before I leave. So, I will try my best to leave later than usual.

Thanks for being here. I really do appreciate it.