Frustration - Looking to Turn This Into a Fun Friday

Oi.

My return to work yesterday was frustrating from beginning to end. 

The day started with a smooth trip to work. I traversed the 50 miles from my house to the facility parking lot without difficulty, and I entered the building to find my room pretty much the way I left it. For some reason, the stereo had been removed which negated about 50% of the sub plans that I had left. There were chairs everywhere, but no major holes in walls or things that looked too bad - at first glance. Later investigation revealed that someone had knocked over a soda or a cup of coffee on the top of one of my cabinets that was just left there, so there is now a thick residue there that I will have to figure out how to clean because I just cannot handle that sort of mess in my space.

Okay, not a bad way to reenter the work space after a month being gone.

I arrived 30 minutes early (of course) because I needed to go through my emails to see what we were going to be doing for the day. The calendar said that we would be having a work day, so I was prepared to work in my office getting things ready for the school year. Then, I tried logging onto the computer.

It didn't work except for one 30 minute period of time during lunch when I was able to go through the 500+ emails to see the 18 that were relevant to me.

My sister called as I was sitting in shock, trying to figure out why I was not able to log onto anything, and kept trying to tell me how to fix things when all I needed was an acknowledgment of the emotions that I was having. I know who to talk to and how to get things fixed, but those people are not as early as I am, so there was nothing I could do for another 20 minutes.

My art therapy friend entered my room about 30 seconds before I left to go see her, and she informed me that our work day had turned into a curriculum inservice training day. So, I spent five hours sitting and listening to a presenter talking about a curriculum program that I am not allowed to access due to our licensing requirements. There was absolutely no reason why I needed to be in that training (or the one scheduled for today), but it was mandatory (someone checked).

I sat on the floor because I prefer taking notes with a broad foundation of support rather than trying to balance while sitting in a chair. I have been having some difficulties with my balance lately, so I figured that it would be better to be on the floor rather than falling in front of people like I did last week. No less than 12 people offered to get me a chair. There were plenty of chairs available, and I am more than capable of getting my own chair when I want it. I was not sitting on the floor because I was not able to find a chair but because I wanted to do so!

That just increased my frustration with the day.

Lunch was good. We had a Chipotle bar which I was able to partake since there is no Chipotle in the town. I cannot eat or drink anything that touches the water in the town due to a strange reaction that shuts down my colon. Since I already have colon issues (and am now with 2 feet less than I had before), I do not eat things when I don't know where they were prepared when I am at work. Since we do not have a Chipotle, I knew that the food had been brought in from the closest "big" town which is about 30 minutes away and has water that I can drink. I made my salad and headed back to my office where I was able to weed through the emails before things stopped working again.

I then had to go back to curriculum training. It was laptop computer dependent and mine wasn't working. The wi-fi didn't work with my Kindle, so I was unable to do anything else. Fortunately, we didn't have to do too much after lunch, and I took my laptop to the IT department and left it there. I did some cleaning, I put together a pile of things to take home, and then I left for the day. The rest of the day went well, but I am still frustrated about the wasted time.

Today we will be making visuals for the classrooms. The 9 of us who are not allowed to access the curriculum could have been doing that yesterday, but no one thinks that way but me. So, I get to make things for everyone else rather than getting myself ready for the new school year.

Oi.

Now, I enjoy making visual aids and resources, but I know how this will go. No one will do this well, and it will be more frustrating for me. I will be swamped with my goblin thoughts - my woulda/shoulda/coulda thoughts. "I could be doing my own visuals that I need on Monday." Those types of things.

So, I have a decision to make - do I go into today with a growl, or do I just ignore the emotions that I have, shove them down deep, and allow them to fester?

Blech. Not the way I wanted this school year to start...