Song Conversion Sunday: The Songs I Keep To Myself
I am a music therapist. As such, I use music all the time to assist my clients in finding paths to their goals and objectives. Sometimes that music is completely improvisational, at other times, the music is the client's preferred music. My work day is full of music, and I love that fact.
One of the problems that I've always had with this job is that I find myself listening less to music now than I did before I was a music therapist. Now, I was never one of those people who had my headphones plugged in all the time - my mother would NOT allow that behavior - but I did enjoy listening to music, and music was my accompaniment to cooking dinner and cleaning the bathroom and other chores. My relationship to music has deepened, but it has also evolved from simple consumer to analyst, to manipulator, to user. This is one of the things that I wish I had known before I became a music therapist so it wouldn't have been such a shock later on (if you want to know what the other things are - read this post and its companion post!).
One of the things that I have done over the years to keep parts of my music consumption strictly for me is to identify songs with deep emotional meaning to me and then to keep them for my own use alone.
I always dislike making this comment, because it feels somewhat selfish. There are songs and pieces of music in this world that I do not want to share with others. They are mine and are used by me for me and for me alone.
I found another song this week - a piece by Nina Simone that I don't want to share because I love it so much. This piece is not on her essential album, much to my surprise because I find it to be essential, so I am looking forward to listening to the rest of the music selected for the albums that I bought this week. I also heard a bit of a classical piece a couple of weeks ago that I'll be adding to my collection in about two minutes. These pieces join a short list of the music that I consider to be mine and mine alone to enrich my own use of music for me.
The songs that I love and keep to myself are varied. For some reason, I rarely get enamored by a performer, but I do find myself drawn to specific musical pieces. I can't tell you why a particular piece is mine, but I often feel that all the elements of music combine together into something that feels like perfection for me.
I always have a visceral reaction to the music first - something intangible that draws me to listen to the piece more closely and then try to seek out the name of the track so I can identify it more succinctly. As soon as I find the name of the song that pulls me in, I look for it on iTunes and I buy it so it can be mine. (Just found out that I can't find the classical piece that I want for the money I am willing to pay - the search continues! It WILL be mine!) I have indie pieces and classical songs, bits from musicals and jazz standards on my list of "all mine" music. I have not made a playlist because that is just a bit too available for others to use. I may make a CD of my favorites later today so I can keep my music at my fingertips.
What are the pieces of music that are yours alone? Don't answer that question here, but what are the songs that have such deep meaning to you that they are yours? I hope that you have some because I know that these pieces of music mean so much to me that I want you to have your own.
I'm going to listen to some Nina Simone this morning. It is time.
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