Well, That Went From Bad to Worse...
So, you may have noticed that I didn't write anything yesterday. I just couldn't bear it, so I went straight to work without writing. I got to work VERY early, but I also fit in a trip to Walmart where I wandered through the entire store and spent very little money, so the start of the day wasn't too bad.
It was a rough week.
I would like to make a unilateral decision that we have absolutely NO Monday holidays and switch all those holidays into Friday holidays. It is very difficult to skip an early day and find the schedule and the routine.
So, my {sarcasm intended here through word choice and my internal brain inflection as I am writing} WONDERFUL week this week included being yelled at in the hallway about a situation that occurred in a different service that I had nothing to do with, by an administrator, in front of students and staff members. When I went to the administrator to communicate that I felt humiliated and that I had been maltreated, I was told {and I quote} "Well, I didn't appreciate how under-responsive you were yesterday!"
Under-responsive?
Why? Because I quietly backed away (as the incident was really close to my face) and used a quiet tone to ask for more information about the situation? Under-responsive because I didn't hop to it and do exactly what was demanded in the moment? Because I have a bit of professional demeanor and can see the implications of many decisions? Because I've been a staff member, working with one of the particular clients in question for the the past 3 years while the administrator has worked with all of us for the past 3 months?
I thought my requests were rational. I used my "I" statements rather than "you" statements. I asked to be given some privacy if there was a perception that I was not doing my job well. I asked that corrections be offered in a private setting rather than in front of peers and students. After all that, I did not get an acknowledgement that the situation was not appropriate. I did not get an acknowledgement that there would be any type of changes in the future.
I spent Friday morning with symptoms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome caused, in some part, by the stress and anxiety that I was feeling. They go hand-in-hand for me. I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say that I was ready to go to work at 5:30 am yesterday.
I started stressing myself into another IBS episode when I was thinking about being in the hallway for duty, so I told the principal that I wasn't going to be able to do duty for some time. She asked why, but the administrator that I have a conflict with was in the hallway, so I asked for some time rather than bring up all sorts of issues {sarcasm} IN THE HALLWAY, IN FRONT OF MY CO-WORKERS AND STUDENTS! I'll work through what I want to say to her and share that with her on Monday.
I don't want to come off as a tattle tale, but I will NOT be treated in such a manner ever again, ESPECIALLY when the situation had absolutely noting to do with me. I was not present, it was not my service, and the students in question had shown no indications of any types of difficulties in my service area.
The most condescending moment of all this?? When the administrator became all self-righteous with me. "Everything I do is for the kids."
Oh. How nice. Of course, I don't do anything for my students!!! {SARCASM}
As a result of several scheduling conflicts and a mystery illness sweeping through my students, I spent my Friday preparation time looking at my contract (pay raise coming!!), cleaning my office, putting things back where they belonged, and in peer supervision.
It is time to focus on healing from this hurt and moving on. I'm going to engage in some active relaxation techniques that I have mastered over the years. There will be some cat-assisted napping, some cooking, some shopping, and some talking to family members.
I am ready to put this week behind me.
It is time.
It was a rough week.
I would like to make a unilateral decision that we have absolutely NO Monday holidays and switch all those holidays into Friday holidays. It is very difficult to skip an early day and find the schedule and the routine.
So, my {sarcasm intended here through word choice and my internal brain inflection as I am writing} WONDERFUL week this week included being yelled at in the hallway about a situation that occurred in a different service that I had nothing to do with, by an administrator, in front of students and staff members. When I went to the administrator to communicate that I felt humiliated and that I had been maltreated, I was told {and I quote} "Well, I didn't appreciate how under-responsive you were yesterday!"
Under-responsive?
Why? Because I quietly backed away (as the incident was really close to my face) and used a quiet tone to ask for more information about the situation? Under-responsive because I didn't hop to it and do exactly what was demanded in the moment? Because I have a bit of professional demeanor and can see the implications of many decisions? Because I've been a staff member, working with one of the particular clients in question for the the past 3 years while the administrator has worked with all of us for the past 3 months?
I thought my requests were rational. I used my "I" statements rather than "you" statements. I asked to be given some privacy if there was a perception that I was not doing my job well. I asked that corrections be offered in a private setting rather than in front of peers and students. After all that, I did not get an acknowledgement that the situation was not appropriate. I did not get an acknowledgement that there would be any type of changes in the future.
I spent Friday morning with symptoms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome caused, in some part, by the stress and anxiety that I was feeling. They go hand-in-hand for me. I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say that I was ready to go to work at 5:30 am yesterday.
I started stressing myself into another IBS episode when I was thinking about being in the hallway for duty, so I told the principal that I wasn't going to be able to do duty for some time. She asked why, but the administrator that I have a conflict with was in the hallway, so I asked for some time rather than bring up all sorts of issues {sarcasm} IN THE HALLWAY, IN FRONT OF MY CO-WORKERS AND STUDENTS! I'll work through what I want to say to her and share that with her on Monday.
I don't want to come off as a tattle tale, but I will NOT be treated in such a manner ever again, ESPECIALLY when the situation had absolutely noting to do with me. I was not present, it was not my service, and the students in question had shown no indications of any types of difficulties in my service area.
The most condescending moment of all this?? When the administrator became all self-righteous with me. "Everything I do is for the kids."
Oh. How nice. Of course, I don't do anything for my students!!! {SARCASM}
As a result of several scheduling conflicts and a mystery illness sweeping through my students, I spent my Friday preparation time looking at my contract (pay raise coming!!), cleaning my office, putting things back where they belonged, and in peer supervision.
It is time to focus on healing from this hurt and moving on. I'm going to engage in some active relaxation techniques that I have mastered over the years. There will be some cat-assisted napping, some cooking, some shopping, and some talking to family members.
I am ready to put this week behind me.
It is time.
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