Take a Gulp and Go Ahead

It is time to go back to work.

For the last month, I have been at home recovering from ACL surgery due to a work incident. I had surgery at the beginning of December, and I have been at home ever since. It's been a bit strange not to be in my music therapy routine every day, but my music therapy routine has changed so dramatically since the incident that this change has only been a bit weird rather than life-changing. (That part was the incident itself. It's amazing how much a broken ligament can change what you are able to do for yourself. Anyway...)

Blah, blah, blah.

Today is my return to my job responsibilities. It is an inservice day, so I will probably be sitting in lots of meetings that have little to no relevance to my job as a music therapist but that I still have to attend. This is a good way to get back into routines as I can take a little bit of time to review admissions and discharges, make plans for how I will run music therapy sessions without lifting more than 5 pounds (current restrictions on my body), and try to wade through an entire month's worth of emails.

I am nervous about going back.

It is strange to think that there was an entire December where I wasn't part of the interactions of my clients. There will be clients who simply do not know what music therapy is or who I am. There will be some staff members who attempt to tell me what the rules are for therapy. It will take some time for us all to get back on the same page when it comes to expectations and how I like to run therapy sessions. Some of my clients will be glad to see me. Others will not. Still others will fluctuate between happy responses and not-so-happy responses to me and my presence.

I am still nervous about going back.

I will have to re-establish therapeutic relationships with some of my clients and will have to establish the same type of relationships with the new clients. There will be some students who have left that didn't have any type of closure with me as a therapist.

It has been a long time since I started a new full-time job, but I remember these types of butterflies in my stomach at the beginning of each new job and new venture that I've taken on. I get nervous before going to each new place, each new adventure, and each new relationship. I've learned to live with the butterflies and still go into each venture.

So, here is the plan for today.

I will go to work in about an hour. I will look for the email that shows the inservice schedule. I will print out a class list so I will know who is scheduled to arrive during which session. I will take my notebook and work on session plans for this week and next week. I will attend the meetings that I have to attend. I will go to my second physical therapy appointment after work and stretch this knee so I can get it completely fixed!

Tomorrow I will run music therapy sessions (without my guitar - maybe with my ukulele - I need to get a better chord diagram so I can play my songs in my preferred keys) and work on getting to know my clients again.

I will be fine - nerves and all. Off I go.