WARNING: Proceed at your own risk!!

***SPOILER ALERT***

The author of this particular blog post is currently undergoing some major issues at work and at home. 

The following post will probably contain one or more of the following:

1. rants
2. rages
3. incoherent statements
4. general negativity

The author apologizes to any reader who is still reading at this point for the paragraphs that follow.

 

NEGATIVITY SWOOPS IN...

 

Today I got called to the principal's office AGAIN.

 

I generally try to avoid going anywhere near my supervisor for many reasons, but seem to get called on the carpet on a regular basis these days. I hate going in there and closing the door. I have to sit on the low couch, allowing her and everyone else in chairs to tower over me. Today, there was a human resources representative in the room as well.

The situation that I was in trouble for was never fully explained to me, but had to do with a student who had to wait to change her clothes until the end of a session due to lack of staff support and children who were out of control. 

 

Anyway, the details are really not that important.

 

During the "discussion," the human resources representative asked me why I was so frustrated. I stated that it had to do with being called into the conference. She looked at me and stopped speaking. I think I misunderstood what she was asking. The look made me start to think.

 

Why am I so frustrated at work? I decided, during the drive away from work, that much of my frustration comes from the fact that I do not feel that I am supported by my supervisor. I am only addressed when there is a perceived difficulty. In the 3+ years that my supervisor has been in the role, she has "observed" me exactly 3 times. Once, she arrived in my room for my 3-year evaluation and stayed for 15 minutes, watching me lead an opening experience and start an instrumental experience. She then left. She came by again when a class was short-staffed and stayed for 10 minutes, watching me lead an opening experience. Several years ago, she instituted a "monthly observation" policy where she would observe each staff member once per month, offering feedback. Do you know how many time I have been observed? ONCE! This was at the end of the first month of the new policy, and she told me that she forgot me. How nice! She stayed for 5 minutes and watched me lead, you guessed it, an opening experience! My feedback from her has been, "It is so nice to see kids having fun. You really love your job. It shows!"

Now, don't get me wrong. I have had many supervisors in my 19 years of professional experience. I have had okay supervisors, and I have had one excellent supervisor. This is the first supervisor that I have had that does not appear to care about me at all unless I am having a problem.

I am a supervisor. I have supervised staff members, music therapy students, and music therapy interns. I know that it is difficult to be the best supervisor in the world. There are times when you have to be the bearer of bad news. You do have to be critical at times, but you also have to support and reinforce the good things that are happening in the professional arena. In order to truly supervise someone, you need to see them in the good situations as well as in the problematic situations.

I feel this aspect of supervision is lacking in my current situation.

What to do? I will address this with my supervisor and with the human resources representative sometime next week before I leave for the AMTA conference. Then, I will seriously review my options and make a decision about whether I remain at my facility.

I love the actual nitty-gritty of my job. I love being a music therapist. I love my interactions with my clients. I love my environment, but I do not enjoy or feel that I even have a relationship with my supervisor. It is amazing how one negative interaction can color the entire situation.

Thanks for letting me vent. If you are all the way down here, you are a trooper!