Music for relaxation...and me

So, I am a music therapist, so it would stand to reason that music would be relaxing to me, right? You would certainly think so, but I find it not to be the case. I have found that music has become a puzzle rather than a completely sensory experience. This has shifted what I do to relax away from listening to music and into speech-related stimulation.

The other night, I was experiencing some insomnia. I kept waking and then lying in bed waiting for sleep to come. As I waited, I got more tense about not sleeping. This led to more insomnia. My mom, an OT, gave me a combination yoga, aroma, music sleep system that proports to enduce delta wave patterns in the brain and assist with sleep. I'm game for anything, so I put the CD on and started the process,

The music was very predictable, the sounds flowed through my auditory system, and I remained wide awake. I attempted progressive muscle relaxation with the music (PMR being the only relaxation technique that I am able to participate in without getting distracted by the musical stimulus) and found myself busy analyzing the musical patterns and chords in a technical manner. You know what, I blame my theory teachers!

I listen to music actively. I listen for chord changes, modulations, and exposition. I thrill with lyrics and find myself fully engaged in music when it occurs. This does not lead to relaxation for me, rather, stimulation. If there is music in the background, I am often unable to let it be a background figure. I am always aware of the music in restaurants, much to my friends' amusement. I actively engage in the musical experience, making music the center of my attention.

Why is this so? Who knows. I know that music is an important part of my life and one that I would not want to give up for anything. I also know that music is not a relaxation tool at this time. I will keep trying.

Comments

  1. Anonymous6:35 PM

    Hi mj,
    I had to chuckle reading your post. I too find it very difficult to relax while listening to music. In fact, when I'm dead tired, it's the only thing that keeps me awake. Sigh.

    On the other hand, I find it hugely relaxing (not enough to sleep of course) to get together with musician friends and play music.

    Peace,
    Roia

    ReplyDelete

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