Three Days

Three days and sixteen sessions left before the end of the contract year, the end of the first summer session, and before my surgery. "That client" had another perfect session yesterday - not even a whimper and allowed me and peers to use materials without protest. That means that Wednesday's session will probably be a doozy, but I'll take it! The problem with having highly reactive clients is that the entire session is a tenterhooks situation for me. I am on edge the entire time "that client" is present - I cannot relax or drop my attention towards "that client." It is exhausting.

I do not feel like we talk about the unintended situations and trauma that can come with being around specific client populations. It is not something that we often speak about in courses - being hurt by clients, being around clients who display aggressive or self-injurious behavior, being yelled at by clients. All of these situations are things that I work through on a weekly basis. "That client" did not engage in those situations yesterday, but another client did, and we did what we always do - we responded and tried to keep everyone safe.

There is a cumulative process that happens when you work with violence all the time.

I am feeling this more and more. The clients that are coming to our facility are not easy to work with. That is why they are with us, but it means that we have to work through the socially inappropriate behaviors that others have not addressed. It is difficult to explain to someone who has always been catered to because of their extreme behaviors of concern that the world is not only theirs to exist in. There are other people out there who need to do things and who need to finish educational and therapeutic requirements.

Every session has the potential of going out of control. The client who had the biggest difficulty yesterday entered the room angry with a peer and would not let it go. The peer engaged in kind - I was able to calm the peer down and get the peer to disengage, but the client continued and escalated into spitting at me, hitting me, and kicking me. This particular clients has no muscle tone, so none of the contact hurt, but it was not a response to me or what I was doing - but I had to handle it.

I think that might be the most difficult part of my particular role in the music therapy world - having to meet clients where they are and navigate the sheer amounts of emotions that are thrown at me - that are not based on what I am doing with them. I think I am good at mood vectoring, and it is the task that I engage in most in my music therapy sessions.

What is mood vectoring, you might ask? I will have to talk about that at a later date because it is time to get dressed, get breakfast, get gasoline, and get to work. I did not finish yesterday's documentation yesterday, so that is first on the list. I still need to finish up my sub plans book for when I am gone in July and continue to move things in my closet. After that, kids will arrive for music therapy sessions. We are talking about musicians born in June and then are exploring our leisure options in the music therapy room. My students are not good at entertaining themselves without a screen involved. My goal is to introduce them to things that they can do without my presence and without electricity. Anyway - time to get going.

Happy Tuesday.