Thoughtful Thursday: Long Nights Lead to Deep(er) Thinking About Music, Therapy, and Me

I did not sleep well last night. I apparently fell asleep before 8pm and then woke up at 9pm. I did not get back into deep sleep after that, so when my light went off at 4:19am, I was not very happy. I have since showered and am now sitting here at my computer, so things are moving in the correct direction for this work day.

Unfortunately, when this type of sleep interruption happens, I tend to sink into negative thoughts and ponderings. I have been imagining all sorts of negative interactions with people - not something I usually do, but now it is happening every time I start driving to work. I have been in several imaginary confrontations this week - it is exhausting, but that's the way things go...

Last week, I received a request to host a practicum student in the Spring semester. This made me laugh because the school that was requesting this placement has not treated me well, so I automatically resist being part of this program. Secondly, I really feel that I have to step away from clinical training right now. There is so much that frustrates me about how we train our music therapy students, and that is where my brain went this morning during my shower.

Do you do that? Do you ruminate on situations when you are doing habitual tasks like showering or driving in the car? I do, and it seems to be taking over my life at the moment.

Anyway, I was thinking about how our internships have not really changed much since our educational coursework was established back in the 1940's. Now, just so you know, I am pretty biased about certain things that I feel are essential in our pathways to becoming competent music therapists. I have very strong opinions based in my life experiences, in my professional path, and in my years of practice. I have been a practicum supervisor and an internship director for most of professional life. I have written about internship programs and presented on this topic over and over again. I am currently writing an internship handbook for music therapy interns to use no matter where they go for their internships. I like having six months with my interns, but I also understand the financial and practical issues that arise from this format of clinical training. 

My opinions are strong, and they certainly affect my thoughts about internships. Having mentored 36 music therapy interns, I can tell you that it is not until month 4 or 5 that interns start to become therapists, and I am not sure if having shorter internships would ever induce this transformation from student to entry level professional. I have never tried a different format because the six month, 1020 hour format has worked well for me and for interns as well - as far as training and understanding what needs to be done is concerned. 

A six-month, non-paid internship is a financial burden. There is absolutely no arguing with that point. It has always been such a burden. I had to budget, work side jobs, and scrimp during my college years to afford as much as I could for my internship. My parents were able to help out a little bit, so that helped as well, but I worked my butt off so I could afford to live where I needed to go for my internship. I rented a room in the home of a local woman rather than finding an apartment. My parents paid for my gasoline, but my sister benefited from that since I went to see her or bring her down to me almost every weekend. I lived a pretty frugal life during my six month internship. I even moved to a new place where I did not know anyone (hence the weekend trips to see my sister!). It was not easy, but I did it. I worked for a not-for-profit school somewhat similar to where I work now, so I did not get a stipend or even food. That was my experience. I tried to do better in my program - I was able to procure free food for my interns, but most of them did not want to eat what was offered.

There is lots of talk from the student population that they should be paid like a therapist because they are doing the work of a therapist. This is inaccurate. Interns work through a developmental process of learning, assimilating, and acting upon the knowledge and information gathered. I am not going through the same developmental process. I am unable to leave the session area during intern-led sessions due to requirements of my state department of education. Those without board certification cannot practice music therapy in the schools in my state. Without a MT-BC, no one can do music therapy.

The difference between sessions with me and sessions with my interns is significant and apparent to those who work with groups and those who visit my sessions. My interns have clinical assignments to complete that are different from the work duties that I have. I do not expect my interns to maintain the clinical environment any more than I do on my own. My interns were in my program to learn how to do my job, but they were not doing my job. They were doing their job.

I was shampooing my hair this morning, thinking about internships, and started wondering what we could do differently for our music therapy students.

I have no solutions, so don't think that this is going to be something revelatory or anything...

This is something I will continue to think about. How do we get a music therapy student from student attitude and habits into entry-level therapist status? I know that programs like my own are not convenient for in-person seminars at the university, so many of the small internships would probably disappear if there was a mandatory check-in from the university, but there are ways that this could be accomplished.

I am interested in what others think about our internship program format. What have you changed? What do you wish would happen that isn't happening right now? Do you think that our current format is not tenable? What would you differently if you were in charge of the whole thing??