Something Has To Go

Okay.

This has not been a really hard week in most estimations, but my students are struggling in music therapy, my moods are mostly negative from the outset, and there isn't much that is happening in the world that I can find positive right now.

When the outside world gets too much for me to navigate, I stop paying attention to anything other than my 52 mile radius.

I will not be reading news stories. I will not be listening to npr. I will do what I can to insulate myself from the strong feelings that happen when I have difficulty with the feelings out in the world. I will avoid saying specific names for the next four years, and I hope that I will actually be better off in 2028 than I am at this moment. Unfortunately, my recent history indicates that I will not. I am better off right now than I was in 2020 at the same time, so I do not think that anything will get better for those of us who are not billionaires.

Do I sound bitter? Probably, but this is why I have to keep myself wrapped in my avoidance scheme. This is a survival situation for me.

I have already blocked people that I no longer want to interact with on my social media feeds. I am sad to do that, but I find that I have to because I get strong emotional responses to what they choose to post. Life is too short to have emotional breakdowns over stupid little posts, so off they go!

Tomorrow is a professional development day for me. I have plans to watch some courses and to work on my craft room (see Monday's post) to make things ready for an exhibit table. I took some of my out-of-session time yesterday to work on file folder activities. I love doing that. I love cutting things out and making new learning things, so I am hoping that I can transfer that into making lots of different things for my exhibit table in March. I can make plans while watching courses on the computer. I have a Zoom course next Friday that I am looking forward to watching and thinking about.

For now, though, I have to get myself out the door and towards work. Shower has been accomplished, blogging is happening, medication has been taken, and now the only thing left is to get in the car and head to the southeast into the almost sunrise. I will leave after my last meeting and drive in the late afternoon sunshine to my professional development weekend #1. Let's hope that today's groups will be happy to see me and happy to be in the session...

Caring for my clients will not go. The things that happen in my home will not have to go. There are things that will go, though, and I am ready to move through the next four years with as little drama as possible. Here we go!

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