Thank You For Your Service

Twenty-five years (to the day) from when I welcomed my first intern to my internship program, I closed the program.

It is time for me to move back into being a therapist without the added stressors present when you are a solo internship supervisor and director. It has been about a year since I have had viable applicants. The one person who actually finished an application and went through the audition decided not to move to Kansas for her internship. So, I am taking the lack of interest and lack of support from our professional organization as the signal that now is the time to move into another way of doing this job.

I am processing this decision and am grieving it at the same time.

This has been a season of leaving things - a job, now my internship program. I am tired of things changing, but my rational mind knows that change leads to growth and difference which is not a bad thing, it is just a new thing to navigate. My sister and mom keep reassuring me that I will find other things to do, but I haven't been able to process that yet. I know I will, but I'm not there yet.

This has been my decision, and my decision alone. That is a comforting thought. I do not need to be an internship supervisor to do my job. In fact, my facility has provided absolutely no support to the internship other than meals for the entire time that I have been inviting interns to learn with us all. 

Interns cost me money. I provide all sorts of materials, project funds, and extra time at work to support them. I have to be a member of AMTA - the only population of music therapists where membership is mandatory, by the way - and I don't get much support from that organization as a volunteer offering educational clinical training for students. I do not get paid at all for being an internship director - so, closing the program will actually save me money! I will be able to use the materials that I have for my own projects, and that is a happy thought.

I am cycling through emotions at the moment - being sad about ending something that I have truly loved more than not over 25 years, and being happy that I no longer have to work past my contract hours! I get to go home when my day is finished from now on. I get to use my storage areas the way I want to. I also have lots of things that I would have given to my next interns, but now I can give them to others. I can focus on my TPT files and my compositions and my books. My time will become more valuable for me now. The extra time that I have gained in the past two months is unencumbered - no obligations to anyone other than me, and I like that. It is taking some getting used to, but I will.

For now, I am cycling through my emotions and figuring out next steps. I am celebrating and mourning at the same time. It is the end of an era for me. Thank you, interns (you know who you are), who trusted me to show you a way of doing music therapy. You enriched my life more than you will ever know.