Being a Client of a Therapist...Again

Forgive me as I deviate from my daily theme posts to reflect on something that is happening right here, right now in my life.

I am, once again, the client of a therapist.

I am not always in therapy of any sort, but over the past seven years, I have been in physical therapy, occupational therapy, and again, occupational therapy. I don't tend to go to therapy for supervisory purposes - I do most of my processing in my journals and (to some extent) here on this blog rather than going to talk to someone else. I know that there are many music therapists out there who insist that all music therapists do what they do - go to regular counseling and supervisory sessions - but not everyone does. I am that everyone.

Anyway, I am starting up in Occupational Therapy again due to the finger injury that I sustained last October. One of my clients hyperextended my ring finger on my left hand, fracturing it, and possibly injuring the ligament (no one has ever let me see my records, so I am not exactly sure what has happened). This is the second fracture that this particular finger has sustained in the course of working with my clients. I have "healed" from the evulsion and the fracture, but my finger does not bend the way it needs to in order to play the guitar. Hence, the Occupational Therapy appointments.

My first appointment was yesterday afternoon. My OT and I share a common internship placement (but 11 years apart). She seemed very interested in music therapy, and we chatted about sensory integration and our various therapies. She measured all of my hand and finger joints to see differences between my left and right hands - I am left-handed, and it was interesting to see how much stronger my right hand has become since injuring my left hand twice now. I also have some scar tissue at the injury spot which has made my finger a bit more knobby than it was before. I was wondering about that, and it was nice to see that my thoughts were borne out by the measurements.

The good news that has happened based on all of this is that my OT is confident that I will be able to bend where I need to bend to play chords. We are working on tendon glides, passive bending, and strengthening. Right now, I am going to be focusing on the glides and the bending.

It is always interesting to be a therapy client. As someone who lives within the therapy world, I recognize the stages of building a therapeutic relationship and can anticipate the different things we will discuss and engage in as I progress through my recovery. At the moment, we are in "relationship building and assessment." We will move into "active treatment" and then into "termination of treatment."

I am hoping that my finger will bend the way it needs to bend so I can play the guitar again. I have been feeling depressed about my lack of ability to play my guitar. I miss it so much, but it hurts to try to bend my finger that way, so I am not trying yet. I am waiting until my medical team tells me that I can start playing again.

So, it is time to start stretching my fingers a bit more. It is time to dive back into the role of client not therapist. It is time to try to get back into playing shape so I can get that guitar back into my hands!