Break Chronicles: Day Nine - Introspection and Packing Things Up

Today is the day that I have reserved for packing, shipping, and thinking. My mother is currently really focused on giving things away, so I am going to be sending my first cornet, three handmade animal puppets, and my gifts from my sister and my mother back to my house today. I have lots of room in my bag to fill up, so I will start there, but I also have an almost full set of dishes to send back, so my shipping costs will be substantial this time around. I guess it is a good thing that we haven't been shopping this break. I need the money to send things back!

This is my usual way of doing things a couple of days before traveling. I pack things up, take them to UPS, and then send them on their merry way. I am always surprised when I open up the boxes because I forget what items are in the boxes in the week that it takes to send them across half of our country. It is almost like another Christmas when my boxes arrive, and I open them up again! So, today's chore is to pack things up and get them on their way! I will leave space in my bag for anything we thrift tomorrow.

I spent time with a friend that I have known since junior high yesterday. We haven't "seen" each other for about 23 years, but we have kept up via social media and Zoom calls. I am amazed at how we have remained the same and yet are so different. It was good to see her and to hear about things that haven't come up in our chats. 

There is something about connecting with people who have known you a long time that is different from any other connection in life. We became friends in eighth grade - the two girls in the trumpet section. I wish I had known her in seventh grade, but she was in the other seventh grade band class so we didn't know each other until eighth. We continued to be the two girls in the trumpet section during high school, but then other girls arrived to be in our section when we were juniors, I think. We stopped being close when we went to college - there was an awkward religious situation which made me step back a bit from seeking her out - and have just been "send the occasional card" or "let's Zoom" friends since then. We were both in our hometown visiting our families this year, so she reached out, and we were able to find a time to spend time together.

I still have two and a half days here before I head out into the world. I am enjoying my visit and am very glad that things have worked out so I can travel. I have missed going places and doing things in different parts of the world. We are planning a trip to the East Coast this summer, so I am excited about the possibility of more travel in the future. I am getting to the point where I figure "why not?" My sister wants to do things in Washington D.C., so we are going to do them! I've visited there before, but it has been almost 25 years, so it is high time we go again! The last time she was there was when we were little - I barely remember the trip, so I am sure that she doesn't remember it at all!

So, trip to the East Coast goes onto my quest board. I will be adding other quests today as I think of them. I already have my health quests figured out. I tend to arrange things based on larger categories, so I have spaces for health, home, work, and leisure. I keep many of the same things under work and home, but the leisure category changes the most from year to year. This year, I am focusing on something different than the last couple of years, so my leisure quests will be more of a focus. (Word of the year announcement coming either tomorrow or the next day - not sure which at the moment...) The quest board just reminds me of things that I am journeying towards - a more organized home, fulfillment at work in my various jobs, being as healthy as possible, and finding time for the things that I like to do for me.

I like to think of my personal goals as quests. This allows me to not have to meet certain criteria in order to feel like I have accomplished things. For example, under my health section last year, I included colonoscopy in my things that I wanted to get done. It did not happen - mainly because I had another health situation pop up that led me down a different path. It is back on the board this year. I am hoping to get that over with so I can leave it off next year. We will see. I have a referral, but I have not been contacted yet about the appointment.

The point is that life is a journey. It is not just about goals. It is about living an authentic life as a human being.

At work these days, I am feeling like I am in a bit of a rut. I get this way every so often, so I have techniques to help me get out the rut, but I am also looking for something more. There are things that are changing in my job. I think these will be good changes - I am not willing to talk too much about them until it becomes officially official - but I still have to make it until those changes occur. Until that time, things will go along, business as usual, so I have to find ways to get myself out of my rut.

My quest for work is not clear at this point. I want to enjoy my job again, and I am struggling with finding that joy at the moment. I feel like I need to rethink what music therapy is for my clients, but I am not able to figure out what I can do to change things up. The reality is that I have to try things that are outside of my comfort zone in order to move forward, and that is a scary thing to do.

Quests are not always safe. In fact, with the concept of a quest (I'm thinking Lord of the Rings now) as my guide, I realize that stepping out on a journey is not always the safest thing to do. You have to take risks, step into the unknown, and actually do things rather than staying in your safe little hobbit hole. If that means that I try the things that I once thought were impossible in my music therapy room, then that's what I will strive to do! 

The new year is a good time to start a quest, but quests and side journeys can start at any time. It doesn't matter when you start, but you have to start.

When I look back at where I was at this time in 2022, I feel like I have journeyed far. I accomplished many of the things that were on my vision board, but I still have a long way to go, and that is what being on a journey is all about. As I stand on the brink of the new year, I feel like I have done what I want to do in many of my larger categories, but there are still things to move from last year's board to this year's.

I feel ready.

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