Break Chronicles: Day Eleven?? The Days Are Just Blending Into One Another

Hello, friends.

Welcome to my end of the year post - the one where I usually reveal several things and spend time ruminating on various quests and goals that I have established. Today, however, may not include some of that information because I am currently figuring out lots of stuff and am not sure if I am coming or going.

My mom has acute pancreatitis and is in the hospital. I have extended my trip an additional two days so I can be around for support. My sister is helping Mom out the way she always does because she is close by, and I am glad that I can be here until Tuesday.

My mom keeps telling me to "have some fun" while I am here, but that is difficult to do when waiting for doctors and tests and information. My sister and I went to the hospital yesterday to wait through a procedure and then waited with Mom to hear about another procedure that will be happening today. At this point, we are not expecting surgery, but we might be going through that if the procedure today shows that it is necessary.

My mom is a pretty easy patient - ESPECIALLY when she is on painkillers - but she gets really cranky when she is denied food, and that was the situation yesterday. She had a meal on Thursday afternoon, and that was the last time she ate until yesterday around 2pm. She kept talking about eating, over and over again, through her procedure yesterday and afterwards was told she could and then was told she couldn't and then was finally told that she could. We left her happily eating a tuna sandwich and roasted potatoes yesterday afternoon before heading out to eat our own tuna melts - it smelled so good in the hospital!

She is not able to eat until after her next procedure now, so I anticipate that she will get crankier during the day until she gets her next test finished. This is the one that will determine whether she has surgery or just lots of heavy duty antibiotics. We, of course, are pulling for no surgery, but we will see what her doctors think.

My neph-at, Walter, has finally decided that I am better than no one, so he is currently sleeping in a box that is by my bed in the guest room. This is the most together time we have had without my sister or my mom around, so he is hesitant to come up on the bed. This is also the first time we have been alone in the house together in all the time I have known him. In fact, I think this might be the first time I have been alone in this house. I am used to being alone in my house, but I am not used to it here! It is a strange thought to think that I don't think I've ever spent a night in this house completely alone before.

Usually, I share my word of the year at this point, so here it is.

I have decided that I want to focus on finding joy in my life, so rather than striving for self-betterment, I am going to focus on the things that I love to do. It is time to play again, so that's my word for 2024 - play.

Today, my sister and I will go to the hospital where we will try our best to keep my mother entertained while also trying to glean as much information as possible from her nurses and doctors. Playing will not be something that is at the forefront of our minds, but we will still crack jokes and be our usual jovial selves as we figure out the next steps.

I have to go home in two days. That is the reality that we are dealing with right now. My aunt has offered to come out to help and my mom's friends are also offering to help out which is nice to hear. It is good to know that Mom will have some support when my sister has to go back to work at the end of this week. I also know that my sister has some support in one of her friends who is also friends with my mom. I will continue to do what I can from 1400 miles away, but there is no substitute for people on the ground who can take Mom to appointments or who can stop by to talk to her or who can just listen as we vent - something we all need to do every so often. I usually do that here, but Mom and my sis need other ways to vent. We will spend the next two days navigating the various health care situations that come up, but there will be some time for giggles and jokes as well.

I am ready to step out of 2023, our year of mystery and wondering what was going on, and into 2024 - a year where we might have less mystery and more plans where we move forward to a better place. This diagnosis and hospitalization have revealed some of the things that we have been hoping to figure out recently, so I see this as a positive step forward into treatment rather than wondering.

I also have LOTS of snarky opinions about the emergency department at the local hospital, but that is a post for another time.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading this little blog, and I hope that you are ready to step into the new year with a confident stride, with an attitude of hope, and with lots of playing in your future.