Wednesday Wind-Up and Crash

I am at home again today. I am exhausted, crying at every little thing, and trying really hard to stave off a relapse of the virus that I am fighting right now. I am trying to figure out how to best serve my clients, my intern, and myself. It took some convincing to stay at home today, but not as much as it would if I wasn't sick. So, I am in my pajamas, sitting up for the next two hours so my medications don't cause bigger issues, and not worrying about work today.

I am exhausted. The only reason I am sitting up is that I have to. The medications that I have to be on each time this happens from now on can cause an infection of the esophagus if I have any sort of reflux, so I have to sit up.

I am doing a project - something just for fun - and it has been the most energizing part of my month so far. I finished a bit of the project last night and then called my mom. I was stuck in the toddler-type energy cycle of "I have to run around because I am fighting sleep and will crash hard if I stop." It has been many decades since I was a toddler, but I am still having those types of cycles. That's a bit humbling.

So, I am now in crash mode. This is also humbling because I have done very little in the past four work days but I was brought low by this germ again.

I am going to make some chicken salad sandwiches and spend the rest of today either sleeping or working on my project or just watching television. The goal for today is to conserve my energy and overcome the fatigue that is happening.

Conserve.

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