Wednesday - Trying Really Hard to Be Positive...

It is Wednesday again, and I am still not feeling any sort of enthusiasm about going to work. I will go. It is important to go, but I am not happy about it. This is a big concern because I am feeling this way every single Wednesday and have for a very long time.

When this happens, it is time for me to sit down and try to figure out what is going on that makes me feel the way that I feel. I thought it was a client-relationship that soured Wednesdays for me, but that client has moved to Monday groups, so that's not the reason why things are rough on Wednesdays. My next layer of analysis moves to the co-workers that I see on Wednesdays, and I know that there is one unstable relationship there. I wonder if that's what the issue is.

I just want to figure out a way to be enthusiastic about Wednesdays again. I am tired of waking up and feeling like I want to be "sick" at the same time every week. So, what can I do to become a bit more enthusiastic about Wednesdays?

I have no idea.

At the center of all of this is uncertainty - about the day, about the co-worker, about my clients, about my emotions... all of this uncertainty just exhausts me. I think that is the most exhausting thing about Wednesdays - perhaps uncertainty about how the day will go makes me tired before things even start. 

It is interesting to me that Wednesdays are the days when uncertainty sinks in. I never know how my clients will respond to me, or to the music, or to anything else. That leads me to believe that it might be this co-worker relationship that colors Wednesdays. 

So, what do I do?

I try to just move forward, but this obviously bothers me. The thing is that the session with this co-worker happens at the start of the day and then is over for the week. That is all that I have to spend around this person, so why does it color my day in such a negative manner?

It is time for a Wednesday-specific phrase.

Over the years, I have collected several phrases to center me and help me navigate my feelings. My phrases often turn into short prayers for assistance in certain situations, and that fits with my spiritual focus. It is time to create a Wednesday phrase.

Phrases have to be short, sweet, and something that focuses my brain. At the moment, I am leaning towards "One passive-aggressive co-worker is not the end of the world. Don't let the ___ get you down," but that doesn't really capture the feeling of calm that I need to help me move into this day.

It is time to get myself going into my Wednesday. I have to take a shower, get gas, and then head to work. Yesterday had a gas-leak related evacuation in it, so I am hoping that things are a bit more relaxed today. 

It is Wednesday. I am going to be fine. One passive-aggressive co-worker is not the end of the world...

See you tomorrow??