Wednesday - The Heat Is Not Helping

It is Wednesday, it is the fifth day of excessive heat warnings, and my brain and body is deteriorating. My music therapy room is not too hot, but it is very stuffy, and I am just plain old tired all the time. So, of course it is Wednesday. Seven groups today. Oh my. I'm tired just thinking about it, and my back is hurting, so I am debating my need to go to work. I will, but I am so tired and so very uninterested in doing anything.

These are the types of days when I just don't want to do anything. It is hard to walk, it is hard to breathe, and it is just plain old hard to find any sort of enthusiasm for anything. I know that I will go, but I don't want to.

I wish I had some time that I could take without penalty. I have refilled my sick days and my personal days for this year, but that time is precious, so I am not really interested in using up 8 hours today. At the same time, my body is not feeling good and my brain is overheating. I might be better off if I take a mental health day. (Of course, this is a bit colored by the fact that a new Star Wars title started yesterday...)

Does anyone else go through these types of debates with oneself?

I have about 14 minutes before I usually go to work and about 45 minutes before I absolutely have to go to work to get to my office before my intern arrives. I have an hour before the last possible second to make my trip and get there before 7:30 when I require my intern to get there. I am thinking that a later day might be the way to go today. I will definitely take the 45 minutes.

This is the last week that I have without a Wednesday night job. Next week starts my 14 hour days with choir practice at the end of it all. I am not really looking forward to that, but I do enjoy it when I get there. I don't always enjoy the process of getting there, but singing with others is something that I love.

There are so many things that affect whether or not I am an effective therapist for my clients. My attitude is the biggest thing, of course. If I am not looking forward to doing the work that I need to do, I am not always the most effective or engaged person in my job. Today is one of those days as I am grappling with the idea of taking some time for me rather than heading to work.

Like I said before, I will be going to work. I know that I have to be there because I will regret the use of time later when I get sick. Notice I didn't say "if." I know that I will be sick, so I need to save that time. I am just so very tired right now. Did I mention that my back hurts??

I wish we got inclement weather days for this heat. It is brutal. I have to go to a different building on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and the walk usually takes about three minutes. Yesterday, I had to stop in the shade to catch my breath halfway up there. With my breathing issues, I am more susceptible to the heat and humidity, so I have to go into this world of 97% humidity with great caution.

My attitude is messed up, my body is messed up, and I'm just exhausted. Is the loss of 8 hours worth the day off?? There is no guarantee that I will be better tomorrow, but I would love to take the day. So, do I? Yuck.

It's getting to the point of no return on this one. Time to go.

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