Becoming: Always Wanting More

Becoming: Background of the graphic includes partial circles and an effect that raises the text box from the rest of the background. In the text box, the word, “Becoming,” is listed in capital letters. Under the post title, the website URL, www.musictherapyworks.com,” is printed in smaller text. The bottom of the text box includes three small circles in different colors.
This is my second attempt at writing a blog post this morning. The first one ended up being a bit too personal for publication, so let's see how this one goes, shall we?

Since returning home, I have gone through my usual pattern of post-vacation and summer-induced depression. While it has only been three days since I've returned, I am fully immersed in my feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and depression that usually happen to me during summertime. Throw in some wicked jet lag, and I am really just a mess at the moment. Since this is something that is usual for me (minus the jet lag) in the hot, humid weather of the summer, I am accustomed to working with and through all of these emotions, feelings, and symptoms. Being used to it, though, doesn't make it easier.

Right now, I am in the middle of my break from work. My home is a mess, and I feel like I cannot get things going because things are such a mess. I spent a little bit of time cleaning the space under my office desk yesterday. It looks nice, but that is the only five square feet of space that looks good right now. I still have a week of time to spend on relaxing and gearing up for the next school year.

The title of this post comes from some of the feelings that I found during the World Congress of Music Therapy - the good and the bad, but it seems to encapsulate a feeling that I have lost lately - that of changing from one state to another.

Every year, I select a word to focus on when I am establishing my quests for said year. This year's word is "transform." At the end of 2022, I spent some time thinking about my word for the year, and thinking about what that word meant to me and my life. I established five categories - health, finances, places, home, and musictherapyworks.com. Under each category, I put my quests for these categories - things to do or learn about or experience. I collaged a piece of watercolor paper into a small folio with pictures and graphic organizers and things I needed to get done or wanted to explore this year.

As I work on updating my vision board folio, I tend to focus more on the things that I haven't accomplished rather than the things that I have done. So, I have to stop myself from dwelling on what I "SHOULD" do and look a bit on what I have done! I am updating the board during this break. I also found my "Overwhelmed Self-Care" card during my office space cleaning, so I have put that back into my journal so I can refer to it often.

For now, as I have been spending lots of time on this blog post, and I want to go see Barbie in about 2.5 hours, I am going to end this post with the thought that I want to figure out what I am becoming as a music therapist and as just plain old me. I hope to use this blog post several times in the near future to help me think and figure some things out.

Thanks for being here with me.

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