Break Chronicles: Day Four Wrap-Up and Looking Forward to Day Five

Well, here we are on the brink of Day Five of my current break and another day at the World Congress of Music Therapy. Today is Friday - I have to repeat this to myself because I never really know what day it is during conferences. So, today is Friday, and all of my travel companions and I go home tomorrow to our various places in the world. They are going to stick close to the hotel today while I do more today than I have at the conference so far - one more session during today, if I last that long. I have been promised poutine when I get home - the one thing that I wanted to try while we were here in Canada - so that is the anticipated highlight of my day.

I woke up this morning with a runny nose and a horrible sinus headache. I took some meds to help and am hoping that I will be able to be something other than a horribly sniffly mess during today's discussions and papers. It's been four hours so far, and no change, so I'm not really hoping for much. I had ice cream for dinner last night, and that seems to be what started all of this. Bad choices lead to bad days. I gotta remember that!

Yesterday was an interesting day. I got more hugs from people I haven't seen for a long time. I went to several different presentations. The last one I went to was the most intriguing and interesting to me. It was all about a book edited by an author that I have read before - Karen Goodman - and I will buy the book at some point. I'm not sure when, but that's okay. I have to go home, add up my receipts, pay my credit card bill and my travel companions for my hotel bill, and then I will see if I have enough money to buy the book. I talked to Karen about trivial things before her presentation. It is always interesting to talk to people that you have studied through their works.

I think I am outgrowing the need to be at conferences, and that makes me a bit sad. I am not getting much that is new information. I am not sure if I am the one who is stagnant or if the profession is stalled in some way because I feel like the information that is being shared is the same stuff that was shared 10, 20, even 30 years ago when I was a beginner. There isn't much happening that has a direct benefit for clinicians, and I think that this conference is not as much designed for clinicians as it is for researchers and university students. This is not a new observation for me - I feel this way about AMTA conferences as well - but I was hoping for some inspiration, and all I am getting from this is a chance to see that nothing much is changing in the profession that I love so much. I want us to grow and mature and be cognizant of the fact that clinicians need to be included in these opportunities through the inclusion of presentations that support and inspire those of us who do the job of music therapy with clients every day.

I think I am going to do something impulsive right now. I think I am going to do something about the stuff that I am talking about in the preceding paragraph. Uh-oh, I am feeling some inspiration now and will be taking on lots of work, but I hope that this will help me fill the void that conferences bring to me these days... More details soon.

I have always felt that you have to find what you need, and if you cannot find it, then you need to create it. So, I want to fill the void that I feel. There you go. So, if nothing else, this congress has inspired me to try to reach out to other clinicians and figure out a way to create the thing I have been missing. That is a good thing.

There are many thoughts swirling through my sinus headachy head right now. I need to write some ideas down before I forget them or lose interest or get back to my regular routine and just can't fathom wanting to interact with others... I want to get started on these things before I plan to retire from my full-time music therapy job, so I need to get hopping.

I just wonder if anyone out there will join me...

It is almost dawn here, and my mom went back to sleep after two hours of chit-chatting with me early this morning. I am trying to be quiet as I am munching on some Cheez-its and am typing away. I am not going to the spotlight sessions in their entirety, but I am going to meet up with a college friend for a drink of some sort afterwards. It is time to start getting ready for the day (even though mine started forever ago!). 

I am glad that I am here. I am glad that I was able to travel to a new country and meet with other music therapists. I acknowledge the privilege that comes with being able to do such things, but I would also like to acknowledge that it comes with sacrifices on my part. I do not get reimbursement for any professional development that I have to do. I have to pay for everything on my own. I do not have a university that will cover my bills. While there is a significant amount of privilege that is present in my situation, there is also a significant amount of planning, scrimping, and saving that goes into my attendance at any conference. As a result, I have to justify every little thing that I do while I am here - but only to myself! There are no external expectations for me to prove that I presented while here. I just get to keep those pictures to myself. I do not have to do a presentation about my time at the congress - my facility and fellow co-workers absolutely do not care who I am in the music therapy world. They are just not interested in what I have learned over the past three days. Since my facility did not contribute to my expenses, I have no obligation to them for any sort of information sharing. It is quite nice to be in a position where I am responsible for only me. That is a part of privilege in itself.

Maybe I should go to the Spotlight session. The topic is Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. While I find this to be a valuable topic, I feel that most of the changes that are proffered through these types of discussions fall beyond the purview of our small music therapy professional organizations. I find these discussions to be futile in the long run because our association cannot control what happens within university programs. I think we are tilting at windmills when we rail against things that we cannot affect in any way. Now, tell me what we can do to support a diverse community of music therapy professionals in a more equitable and inclusive manner, and I am all for it! What needs to be done? I'll do it! The thing that I find missing in these conversations are action steps that can be done to fix the problems or change the systems. I want to know what to do!

Most of these conversations have focused more on how to get a more diverse population of music therapy students into university programs, and I don't feel that our organizations should be the ones that are making those plans. That has to happen within the universities, not through the very small music therapy associations hammering on the windows from the outside. So, I tend to step away from these types of discussions because they just seem to offer the same old stuff with little to no progress or change.

I always feel guilty after writing down these types of thoughts because it sounds so stuffy and privileged, but it is how I feel, and I am not going to be shy about what I feel on my blog. It is my place to share my opinions - popular and unpopular ones alike! So, if you do not like what I write, you can feel free to stop reading this blog. If you do like what I write, then I am glad that someone else feels the way I feel about various things.

Thank you for reading.