Thinking About Routines

I have been thinking about routines lately - especially as I am driving home in the evenings. There are lots of conflicting messages out there in the world - relax and be in the moment, followed by seize the day and make it yours, followed again by messages of work, work, work, and then life is too short to work all the time, so rest! I currently struggle with wanting to do more with an attitude that skews towards rest.

I am getting ready for my yearly hiatus from my Wednesday evening job. I have season tickets for our local amphitheater. I will have lots of time after school to do things, but I am not sure that I will have the energy.

Summer is a difficult time for me - seasonal affective disorder and asthma and arthritis that are exacerbated by humidity. My body hurts all the time these days, but that's okay. I have some plans for the summer months.

In addition to the evening time that I will get back, the trips to the amphitheater, and the extra time to fill up every night, I also get three day weekends and some extra time off. This might actually contribute to my depressive times during the summer - ALL the alone time. I am changing some things up this summer to see if things will change - attitudinally, at least. 

Now, let me clear. These are NOT goals! I am really good at writing goals and lousy at actually seeing them through. These are quests... (I know, I know, but this is something that I have written about in the past.)

I am hoping that my three day weekends will be spent in some leisure and rest and some work.

As I am thinking about this summer, I am getting overwhelmed by all the things that I want to be doing. That's my pattern - I make huge, ambitious plans that I never complete, so I am always disappointed with myself. Will I finally figure out how to find the balance between what I need to do and what I want to do and, finally, what I am able to do? We will see.

Monday through Thursday, I will be doing my regular job. That will be a regular morning routine - wake up early, get ready for work, and then head into the world to do the music therapy things that my clients expect. Friday through Sunday will be my leisure time. There will be times when Friday mornings are recovery time after late Thursdays. There will be times when Friday mornings are the same as every other morning. Usually, by Sundays, I am pretty bored with my own company, so that will probably be my movie day. 

I will need to mow my lawn on a regular basis. I want to get a manual mower so I can mow at any time of the day or night, but I have a gasoline powered mower right now, so I will start with that one (if I can get it running and figure out how to get gasoline without spilling it at all...). Last year, I could afford to hire someone to do the mowing, but this year, EVERYTHING has become more expensive and my salary has not increased at all. So, mowing has to be my job this summer. Fridays would be a good day to mow - get it over with!

Once the mowing is finished, I can then focus on other things. I want to cook new things this summer. I want to make new things this summer. I want to explore new places this summer. So, those are my quests. Cook new things. Make new things. Explore new places.

How does this fit into a routine?

I'm not sure yet, but I am also waffling between wanting routines in my home life and wanting to be free of any expectation (especially my own!). 

For now, though, I need to finish this morning's routine and get going. It is finally Friday. I have some non-clinical time today to clean and clear. I will be able to follow my work routine and then come home for my one day weekend. Tomorrow is it for another entire week. After next week, I will be in my summer schedule. Things change, and I want to enjoy the change this year.


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