Oh, Golly...

Well, it is Friday again, and I am, once again, sitting here, feeling so many feelings. The Talent Show is today, and there is SO much drama happening at work right now that it is interesting to be part of it all. I had to kick two clients out of the show due to their inability to maintain any sort of appropriate engagement and plotting to hurt people (including me). There may be more that are not allowed to engage. One of our clinicians broke down in tears during the session asking for recognition for the work that her team is doing in the evenings. I both empathize and sympathize with that emotion.

This is a difficult time of year. For some reason, it was decided that we needed to change up three classrooms three weeks before the end of the regular school session. This has led to all sorts of conspiracies and rebellions in the client population. All of the staff is stretched to their limits and the clients can sense all of that. We are always short-staffed, in all areas, and we have had to increase our census in order to pay the bills. The problem with that? We don't have the staff we need to cover the increase in clients. It is a mess at work right now.

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week, by the way.

I am not sure if we will calm down next week, but I do know that we will survive this rough patch. This is not the first May rebellion that has occurred at my facility. In 27 years, I have seen so much. I am getting ready for a week off in about two weeks, and I am more than ready for that time away. The staff member who broke down in tears yesterday will be working during our time away from school. I hope things start to calm down for that break, but who knows?

About two months ago, my facility decided that they had to lay off people because they could not afford to operate with the number of personnel that they had employed. We had a push with getting more clients into the facility while decreasing the number of people who worked directly with those same clients. It was a bit short-sighted, but that is not my area of oversight or responsibility. Now we are starting to recognize that cutting direct service personnel is not always the best way to save the organization some money. In these past two months, two clinical positions have been eliminated and several of our executive team have left their positions. They have not been replaced, so I am guessing that our administration is recognizing that direct service personnel are indispensable to the day-to-day operations of our facility and our mission - we seem to be in a period of administrative trimming now that we have trimmed the direct care personnel.

One of the benefits to being a long-timer at any job is knowing that tough times happen but smooth sailing will return...eventually. We just have to hang on until the water settles. My clients, with their various diagnoses and challenges, have all of the typical end-of-the-year angsts and energies in addition to their usual symptomology. It ends up being a significant mess but we always get over it.

These are the times that week out staff members as well. It takes a certain person to be able to hold on during the rough times, and we have lots of rough times. I am really trying hard NOT to be the type of person who counts down how much time is left before retirement, but there are days when I just keep going knowing that I have a quest - retirement land!

Most of the time, I love my job. I enjoy my clients and the people that I work with, but this is one of those times when I long to work with cute little kids who sit when you ask them to sit. Then, my rational brain shows up and reminds me that cute little kids don't always sit when you ask them to sit - kids are kids, and there are stressors that happen with any group of clients. That's what happens when you choose to work with human beings - you take the good times and the difficult times together. While I could find a place where the possibility of physical pain inflicted upon me by a client is less than the place where I am right now, there could be other things that could happen that would be different but just as damaging to me as a fellow human.

So, then. it is time to move into the day. I am going to take my shower, get dressed in my Talent Show duds, and get ready for things to happen. My list of performers has decreased by about five acts, so that helps with the timing of the show. It will be interesting to see who shines, who chokes, and who just does what they need to do for today.

I am going to try to stuff my emotions about things today. There will probably be some crying in my near future - it has been happening quite often the past three days, so why would this change today??

I will survive, and through my own survival, I can help others survive this trying time as well. Secure your own oxygen mask before helping others.

Happy Friday. I hope that your May is going a bit more smoothly than mine. We will survive!