Being an Internship Director: You Will NEVER Feel Completely Ready

Back when I was actively training music therapists on the process of becoming internship supervisors, one of the best and most interesting questions I was asked (over and over again) was, "how will I know that I am ready?"

This question made me pause each time because I'm not sure that anyone is ever "ready" to be an internship supervisor. I guess it depends on what you consider "ready."

When pressed for an answer about when I felt "ready," I usually state that I am never really ready for each intern who arrives. I get nervous before each intern starts. I spend inordinate amounts of time hoping that they will get the experience that they need to become happy and successful human beings in the future. I hope that they learn things that they will not learn with anyone else, and I hope that they will be safe while they are with me and my students.

Every intern that arrives at my facility brings unique thoughts, experiences, and needs. I cannot anticipate all of the challenges and benefits that another human can add to my way of doing things. So, I never feel ready for an intern to arrive. I feel nervous. I feel excited. I feel scared that I will not be what this person needs in an internship director/supervisor.

When I decided to be an internship director (forever ago), I did not feel ready. I felt like it was time in my career to start this process because I knew that mentoring others was something I wanted to give to my profession. I did not know what I was doing, but I was encouraged by others to provide the program. I got going on the application and was accepted. I thought I would wait until the turn of the year to accept my first intern, but an intern found me and wanted to start in October.

I panicked.

I did not feel like I was prepared enough for an intern. I had a sample schedule, the beginnings of an evaluation, a dismissal policy, and a site evaluation. That was about it. It was time to start figuring out what my intern would do during their time with me.

For my original assignments, I went with the things I had to do during my internship. (In the years since, I have changed up some stuff, but not all - there are still remnants of my internship at the Center for Neurodevelopmental Studies, Inc.) I had no idea if I was overburdening my first intern, but it was a place to start.

My first intern showed me that I could be a supervisor - I could do that and still be human and make mistakes and the entire process would not be ruined. Intern #1 taught me so much about being a supervisor. Intern #3 almost drove me from the profession completely, but that is a different situation completely - future post?? Perhaps.

Lessons I have learned:

• I never feel "ready" to do this job. I always want more training, more information, more time, more projects, more...
• I have to remember that I am human, just like my interns. There will be times when I feel like I am not connecting with an intern the way I feel I need to do. There will be times when I do not feel like they have learned what I have been trying to teach. There are times when I fail them because of my life status.
• I am not alone in feeling this way. If you talk to other internship supervisors, you will often find that they state that they were encouraged by others to be supervisors but they had doubts.
• I keep learning how to be a supervisor. That process will never stop.