Thoughtful Thursday: People Just Don't Get It

My Wednesday led me into some angst and issues. There are some brand new staff members who are questioning my ways of engaging with my clients, and they are openly challenging me. I think I hurt my intern's feelings when I told the teacher that I was talking to that my session management is different and sessions will be different when I take over again. The teacher said that the behavioral health technicians were concerned that I would be alone next week. The technicians that have been employed for three weeks are concerned.

Let me set the stage here.

The first session this particular person walked into the music therapy room, this person yelled over the music happening, led by the music therapy intern, to tell a student that the student had lost iPad privileges. The student then escalated into a serious behavior of concern that this staff member felt compelled to talk about - LOUDLY - while my intern was working with the other students in the session. This staff member ignored my subtle and not so subtle prompts to stop talking and engage in the session rather than having this very loud commentary. A completely avoidable situation occurred in the session - spurred on by this staff member. I talked to the teacher and requested that I be the source of all behavior management prompts and cues.

Yesterday's session was complicated by the fact that one kid is going through puberty and doesn't know how to handle it. Another kid follows the first one into inappropriate comments and acting out. Another kid is the target of all the attention because that kid is the only one who is female. The session yesterday was a mess. The particular behaviors of concern have only been present in the last two sessions. That's it. We (my intern and I) are addressing these concerns in our manner - which means NOT yelling about it.

Quite frankly, yelling is not an effective educational technique. It is also not an effective therapeutic technique. If yelling worked to stop the behaviors of concern that my clients have, then they wouldn't have any behaviors of concern. Yelling does not work.

In addition, as you know because you are reading a music therapy blog, music is something that needs to be experienced. It is primarily an auditory experience, and yelling interrupts that therapeutic situation. When I am singing instructions or using music to set a mood or to change the emotional status in the session, talking is an interruption to the therapeutic process. I am working so hard to move my clients towards their goals in spite of the people around me who interrupt, over prompt, ignore my requests, and sabotage every single thing that I do.

This is not a precedent. I have had to do this many times before. Each time, I get angry that people just don't get what I do and how I do it. I especially do not like the yellers who show up, try to correct kids for doing things that are part of our routine, and who tattle. Egad.

As I told the teacher who actually came to talk to me about the situation that had occurred, I actually know how to do my job and prefer it when BHTs do not yell. I explained that this particular person interrupted and instigated so many situations that were not necessary and was asked to stop several times. This person did not do so. So, this person needs to keep quiet in the music therapy session. There was way too much interference with the therapeutic process and no apparent interest in understanding that music therapy is not an educational situation, it is a therapeutic space and process.

My major problem with all of this is that I do not have the time or option of just talking to this particular staff member. As mentioned before, music therapy is something that requires my voice in order to operate - I cannot take a staff member aside to explain what music therapy is while the session is happening. I have to actually DO music therapy while students are in my room. It's not like PE where the BHTs get to stand around and talk the entire time. It's not like Art Therapy where the BHTs get to stand around and talk the entire time. I have to be heard, and that means that people need to shut up!

I have to change the topic now because I can feel my blood pressure rising. I was hoping that today would be a snow day, but that is not happening, so I will be heading out into the slick world. I am not very good when things are icy because I've had a couple of accidents over the past 27 years on days like this where things should have been called off but weren't. I will head out in a bit and go slowly. VERY SLOWLY.

I have three groups and two individuals today. That's it. I think I will be able to do it, but I will also spend lots of time fretting about this situation and trying my best to exist in a place where people don't understand what I do and how I do it. Uh-oh, I'm getting back into the topic.

I want to figure out a way not to be fretting about this during my hour long commute this morning. I am not sure how I will do that, but I will try.

On that note - see you soon.

Oh, I wish it was a snow day...