Taking Stock of My Professional Goals for the Year

'Tis the season for self-examination and thoughts of new resolutions. The new year is coming, so it is time to sit down and think about what has happened this year.

I did not do well on my reading goal. I started the year with the intention of reading the 13 books that I ordered from Barcelona publishers last year. I read through three books. That means that there are 10 more books on my To Be Read list. Reading has been less important to me than surviving the continual changes of a COVID world.

Oh, dear. I just used the archive function to look back at my posts from last year around this time and fell into all of my grief. Now I am back into my own grief situations and am finding things difficult to go through. At this point last year, my cat was fine, my Dad was not, Mom was beside herself trying to get help with Dad's health needs - he went from being perfectly fine to being completely unable to walk, use the bathroom, and be nice to her - we still think it was a stroke, but we will never know. Little did I know that the last weeks of the old year and the first week of the new year would be the worst of my life so far. That's not what this particular post is about, but it is interesting to remember that this has been a difficult year for me and mine.

I am not going to set goals for this year. I am setting quests. My word for 2022 will be announced soon, and it will allow me to engage in quests. My quests will take the form of things like "expand knowledge." I will be figuring out what quests I want to pursue in both my professional and personal lives in the next couple of weeks - thought experiments that I can do as I am unpacking materials and moving things from one place to another and getting the carpets cleaned.

It is Monday morning, I am sitting here looking at my computer screen, and just feeling lousy about the things that I keep wanting to do and never get done. This is a 44 hour workweek - yuck - so I am already primed to be cranky. I am not going to stress myself about this. I have to work extra during my church hours this week as well as working extra hours for my music therapy job. I already do more than I am salaried to do at work, so I have lots of informal "work hour credits." So, I am giving myself the grace to do the number of hours that I need to do this week and not stress too much about doing all the extra. I still have lots to do at my two living places, but I also have to do my regular jobs. Ick. I am still very tired, but at least I am checking things off my to-do list and am making progress towards only having one residence. I am also trying my best to think about the upcoming year in a positive light. My mother is healthy. My sister is healthy. My brother is as healthy as he allows himself to be. I am a homeowner. (Exhausted sigh...with a tinge of squeal...) 

I have never been one of those people who think that a change in the calendar means that everything will miraculously get better or worse. I know that I will not wake up on Saturday, January 1, 2022 to a world free of this pandemic or the other struggles that are present in the world at the moment. I know this, but there is always the opportunity for hope in moments of change.

At least, at this point, we are still open for business at my job. This time last year, I was sitting at home three days a week, going to work two days a week, and developing the YouTube channel so there would be some sort of music therapy intervention happening with my quarantined clients. I was finding out that I am not suited to working from home in my current job. We did not have any sort of Zoom capability for our clients, so everything was worksheet based - except for music therapy where it was all YouTube. I am not sure that my clients ever accessed the information that we worked on, but it is still there and available to anyone who can find it.

There are many ways that this year is different from last year. Some are good, others not so much. I am missing my Dad, but I am looking forward to having some of my family members here for Christmas to help me get through this first season after loss. Our holiday last year was marked by distance, uncertainty, and grief. This one will be marked by memory, new beginnings, and difference. I anticipate some tears, some laughter, and lots of hard work. After my mom and sister leave, I will have a bit of time to myself before the new year starts and I go back to work. It will be nice to have a quiet New Year's celebration in my new house. I will have a glorious week to myself after hosting my family for a week. I will probably be ready to return to work after having time to myself! My new intern will start in January. Lots is happening around here. I want to start up a new year of Monthly Music Therapy Meets. I will be returning to my weekly intern webinars, and it looks like we will be starting a new monthly supervision meeting for intern supervisors as well. I am looking forward to interacting with other music therapists in a more structured manner than I have recently.

There are lots of plans in the works - we will see if those plans come to fruition. These will be my quests!