TME Tuesday: Dealing With the Crankys

Whoo-whee, my clients were CRANKY yesterday! The time change has affected us all, and it really shows! Between students taking advantage of the fact that I was the only staff member in the music therapy room and students ignoring every thing I said and then getting angry when I did not hop to get them what they demanded, I was exhausted after the first session! Today is a five group and two individuals type of day, so I am anticipating more cranky feelings from my clients and from myself as well!

So, how do I deal with the cranky feelings? First of all, consistency. The rules stay the same no matter what happens - interrupting is not okay; leaving the room is not okay; being unkind to others is not okay. You get the idea. In addition, lots of room for choices and options are important for my clients who do not even get to choose their clothing in the morning. The second aspect of dealing with the cranks is to not take anything personally. It's not personal, it's just business - isn't that what the saying is? Of course, it is difficult to separate the responses of clients from what I am doing with them and not take things personally, but that is the goal. I can only control one person in the session, and that is me. There are times when I cannot even control myself, but since that is the only person I can even hope to control, it is my constant quest to control my reactions to what and how my clients respond to what I offer to them. Third, if the group is all on the same wavelength with their cranky responses to things, then I offer some safe spaces to express our frustrations - I like loud drumming and some yelling as a good way to express frustration and to reset some of our emotions. Not everyone will engage in that sort of cathartic experience.

I was also very tired when I walked into the session. I am not less tired right now, so I anticipate that there will be more of the cranky responses to what I present in sessions. 

One of the contributing factors to my own crankiness is my lack of preparation for this entire month. I have nothing on my session strategy for this week. Maybe I should change that, but my brain is fried. I am trying to slip into observation mode with my groups - trying to get the feeling for how they work as an entity rather than reacting to individuals in the same room at the same time. As a result, I have taken a step back from session strategizing, and it shows. I am going into sessions without a sticky note at my side. That means that I have even more space to adapt my session to what the clients are showing me they want and need. It also means that I am not as secure in my materials and the things that I want to have at my fingertips. This is one of the ways that I work - without a set structure in place, I have the room to accommodate the various whims and quirks of all of my clients through the music we make together.

Yesterday, we listened to military hymns and songs while discussing Veterans Day. We also played instruments, spent some time singing, and spent more time engaged in arguments and behaviors of concern. It was a roughish day. I am afraid that today is going to be worse, and I am not really looking forward to it. I am getting geared up for another day of arguments, of people not listening to me when I am singing, and frustration. On the other hand, I am also hoping that things go smoothly, and we are able to engage in good interactions. 

Reminder to self - don't take anything personally.