Blogging From the Edge...

Okay, this isn't too bad. I'm sitting in my hotel room, waiting for my sister and mom to wake up and get going. We made it to our final destination yesterday without too much hullabaloo and spent some time with family. I've already had some excitement. There was a fire alarm around 5am. I panicked a bit, deemed what was most necessary to grab and then made it to the door. The guy next door was less panicked than i. About then, the alarm stopped. I don't think my mom and sister even heard it. You know !e, though. Once I'm up, I'm up.

So, now I am waiting for the west coasters to wake up and get going. I'm not really expecting them for several more hours. My cousin told us to arrive around lunchtime today, so we will try for that time...

We are getting ready for the memorial service tomorrow. Apparently there will be cousins from the other side of my aunt's family. I have never met any of those family members before. My cousin-in-law and second cousins will arrive tonight. I haven't seen many of these folks for many years, and I've never met the next generation. I'm looking forward to being around them.

Our reason for getting together is not a happy one. My departed cousin struggled with many things. I will not get into the details here because her story is hers and not mine. We are gathered to close our shared experiences with her and to continue our own shared experiences without her presence. We were able to discuss her and my father and my grandparents with humor. There have also been tears, and there will be more of those in the next several days.

I do not handle emotions from others, or for myself, well at all. Every time we start getting emotional, I start crying and that makes other people uncomfortable, I think. I do not use crying as a mechanism, I don't think. It is my way of expressing all emotion. It allows me to let go of some of the feelings that I sense.

I wish I could navigate these interactions with less emotion, but I think that is the primary reason that I am a music therapist. My music can convey things that words can never fully express, and people often express their own emotions more freely when music is present.

Okay. Now blogger is reminding me of why I do not like blogging on my tablet. Fonts go won't and remind me that I have very little to no control over what I can do. I guess it is time to post this and head out into the world.

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