"It's Okay to Say 'No'"

This morning, as I was scrolling through my Twitter feed and trying to figure out how to navigate a particularly challenging work situation, I found a tweet from my favorite author/blogger, The Bloggess. If you don't know about her, Jenny Lawson is a wonderful human who writes about her life. Her story includes questions, answers, lots of silliness, a bit of profanity, and some serious discussions about medical issues and mental health. She has inspired me to be a bit more honest about my own struggles because she tells me things that I can relate to. I figure that if I need to hear this from her, then maybe some of you need to hear this from me.

Anyway, the quote was simple. "It's okay to say 'No'."

I'm being completely honest when I said that I needed to see someone else saying this today. There is a situation happening that I am expected to be doing but that would put my health in jeopardy - both physically and emotionally. I am being pressured to be there by my boss who is really trying, but I am not interested in this. Add in the facts that this is an outside event, away from work, and we have a heat advisory happening, and I am not sure that I even need an excuse, but I haven't heard that we are shifting the experience to a place that is safer to me.

I hate saying no to this, but I need to. I am getting a reputation for being standoffish when it comes to these things, but I always have reasons. For example, I have to work on Wednesday evenings as a choir director. All of our inservice trainings are on Wednesday evenings. I cannot be putting off my job just so I can go to an escape room for "team-building" purposes. This next thing is something that will put my health into jeopardy. I have to say no, but I am being consumed by guilt and my need to be accepted.

It is time to be professionally courageous - something that we are encouraged to do at work but not really. Maybe this will change with our total change in administration positions, but not likely. Often, when you have to step up and be courageous, you get a label - party pooper...unfriendly...not a team player. 

I keep hoping that I will find an email that cancels the whole thing, but that is not likely now. I would like to NOT be the person who is complaining, but I have to look out for my own well-being.

Blech.

Time to get ready for this conversation. I hope I can find my administrator somewhere - I will look for him several times today and will only resort to an email if I can't find him for a talk. It is rough being as far away from the administrator hub as is possible - I never hear what is going on and can't find people when I need them, but there are good things about being far away as well. For example, I can make as much noise as I want in my music therapy sessions!!

Well...this party pooper is heading out into the world to say no to something that could be harmful to her. Wish me luck! 

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