The Day After

Well, the doctor did not mention surgery yesterday. I now get to wear a compression glove on my hand pretty much all the time to try to get my left hand to be less swollen. My Occupational Therapist wants me to get the trigger finger going so that surgery will be recommended and accomplished before I am released from care. So, my job is to use my putty as much as possible to activate that trigger finger situation so I can get it fixed. I really wanted to have some conclusion to all of this, but I got more cloudy future. The good news is that I can debate what I want to do with my next break. I am debating a trip home at the end of this month because I have not been home for over a year, and I need to see my Mom and my siblings and get used to home without my Dad. I think I will wait for my July break to go home - that would get me away from having to hurry right now and would also let me do things that I need to get done here without having to stress about driving back to Kansas with a timeline.

Okay - decision made. Now I just have to talk it over with my mom and my sister so I can get things coordinated. That also gives the world another month and a half to get this whole vaccination thing under control and some more time to save up some money for traveling that will not affect my credit...

Oh. I can now cross that thought off my list. I would like to go home this month, but it just doesn't really seem like I have enough time to get things done before that departure. July is much more doable to my planning brain. I can drive and have some enforced alone time in the car before and after being around my family members. I can do some grieving and some celebrating and some imagining as I am driving down the interstate through six states. I can also take a bit of time to explore places that I enjoy on my way back to Kansas. I can also take some of the things that my Mom has collected for me back to my house - she wants me to go through my father's t-shirts and stuff. I will need a car to take things back with me. I also like driving, so going through all of those places is a good thing.

For the moment, though, it is time to focus on the rest of this week. Thursday is a three group day, so there isn't too much to have to prepare, but there is lots of time to fill up. I do best when I have more therapy to do than to keep myself occupied. I am in between major projects at work at the moment. The move to the closet from the beginning of this year is pretty much finished. I can spend time trying to figure out what I want to do for our extended school year sessions, I guess. Now that I know that I will not be recovering from hand surgery, I can move forward on that task.

I have seven weeks to fill during our extended school year. In the past, I have tried to do themes, music curricula, and other things that have been okay but have not really done what I want them to do. I will be doing only half of my caseload since my intern will be leading the other half, so there are some considerations that are present for that reason. I will only see most of my students for 30 minutes per week and I will not be the lead therapist for four of my twelve groups at all. Two classes will be mine alone which means that they will get 60 minutes per week from me. I have lots of things that I can do, but nothing has really excited me yet. So, today and tomorrow's time will be spent trying to come up with a plan that makes me feel intrigued. Maybe I should go for some sort of mystery/spy type theme...hmm. I could work with that.

My Christmas tree has just turned on. I am still enjoying those lights every morning. Of course, it is 5 months since Christmas, but I am still not ready to take this little tree down. I think this is part of my grief process, and it is not a concern of mine at this point. I am not ready to take it down, so I'm not taking it down. I enjoy the glow of the lights in the predawn darkness. There is something comforting about multicolored lights with my ornaments sparkling that just makes me feel happy, even when I am not at my best.

I do not take as much time to appreciate these small beauties as I probably should (goblin!). They are all around me, but I often put my head down and just move from one place to another place. I did see a clutch of deer the other day as I was driving. There were about five adolescent deer standing in the middle of a field, somewhat close to the road that I was driving down, but not close enough to cause concern. They were just standing in the field, watching the traffic go past. I am happy that I saw them. I wonder how many other drivers missed that sight.

Take some time to find the beauty in things around you. It is well worth your time.

Well, I am off to play with my R2-D2 interactive robot with two more groups today. One more tomorrow and then R2 can find his way back home. I enjoy the teaching moments that happen with that stubborn little toy. He refuses to do what he is told almost 75% of the time. My students experience some of the things that the adults that care for them experience when this happens. I love it! Anyway, two more days of music therapy this week and then we will be on the last two weeks of school. Aaah.

Almost two full weeks of break will follow. With no plans to go home for this break, I can just do the home things that I need to get finished and rest. Lots of rest is on the to-do list. There are fifteen more days (including weekends) before break...

...but, first, I need to leave my home to get this day finished!