Random Blathering of Someone Getting Older By the Minute

This blog post has already started once...been found lacking...and is now being reformed into something less blah.

I am exhausted and my sleep patterns are just plain old messed up. I woke up at 12:38 this morning (I checked instead of trying to pretend that I could just go back to sleep) and was able to get back into some light sleep after that time, but I did not seem to go into a deep sleep cycle. I heard some creaking from upstairs, but no yelling, chanting, or demonic exorcism, so I guess it was a good night for them as well. (I contacted a realtor this week to let her know that I would start house hunting in earnest after OCMT.) When my light went off at 3:50am, I was not ready to get out of bed, so I set an alarm on my Kindle and then decided that I was ready to get up before the alarm when off. That was a nice feeling of being ready - it's been missing lately - feeling ready.

I missed a mandatory meeting on Wednesday, but no one came to get me for the meeting, so I guess it wasn't all that mandatory for me after all. I remembered it yesterday.

I hate forgetting things which is why I write things down in my books. I did not get that written down and missed it. I am trying not to ruminate over this fact - it is difficult because I hate it when I miss things that I am supposed to be at. I bet no one even noticed that I was gone. That's a whole other issue!

I was able to spend some time doing things yesterday - things that were a bit more productive than usual. My recycling folks actually took the complex's recycling yesterday after letting it sit for a month, so I took out all my recycling. I picked up some tax documents that need to go out this afternoon. I loaded up a bookshelf with some fiction. I took the confidential shredding stuff to the UPS store where they collect it all. I ate some good food.

Today will be a typical Friday. I have two groups to lead and two groups to observe. After the last group, I will finish up my notes and then head to Occupational Therapy for yet another treatment. Today I get to strap my fingers down, put the heating pads on them, and then measure how far I can bend those stiff joints. My OT is happy with my progress. I'm not. I want to know if I can ever count on being able to bend these joints without pain. I need to know if I will ever get to stop wondering if I will pop the tendon if I play the drum with my hands. I need to know if I will ever be able to play a D chord without pain. I don't know if that will happen or not. It is time to call an attorney.

I am thinking that today is going to be a crying day. I paid off Bella's last vet appointment yesterday. I am tearing up over small things today.

Time to go to work.

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