...And, Just Like That, It Is Time to Get Back to Work...

Today is the day that I start back to work after a rough, emotional, and challenging Winter Break. My father is in hospice care and had a lucid day yesterday. The day before he was hallucinating that he was the President of the United States and was pretty demanding of how such a personage should be treated. My heart doesn't ache so much about the departure of my Bella-cat, but I still think that I see her walking down the hallway every once in a while. It always ends up being one of my strands of hair getting into my peripheral vision, but I still look for her. Several of my friends have wanted me to go get another kitty, but I am not ready yet.

Anyway, back to thinking about work. Today and tomorrow are supposed to be "work days" implying that we will have some uninterrupted time in our classrooms to organize and clean things up. As far as I know, we will have all of our students back in sessions starting on Wednesday. There will be another schedule change because one of our classes has moved from day students back to residential students and the current schedule does not accommodate the germ segregation that we need to do. I wonder what my schedule will look like when I get to my office this morning. I am hoping to be able to organize my music therapy materials into the large storage closet that will be mine to use as soon as the student store moves into its new (very small) room. I took some of my Orff instruments into the closet to stake my claim before I left for break, but I don't know if the people who are supposed to be taking over the entire thing have actually moved out of the room. I am not patient when other people don't do what they have been told to do and it affects me. I am less impatient when their inaction doesn't directly affect me, of course. This does affect me, so I want them OUT!

I am returning to one intern and have to figure out how I am going to get her through the clinical assignments and opportunities that I need to expose her to in a constantly changing schedule where client contact is not guaranteed. I know that the work that I do on the program will serve me well with the next interns, so it is time well-spent. I also have two applicants to interview via telehealth interaction (not my favorite way to do interviews, by the way!) for the June space. I am looking forward to having only one intern at a time for the next six months. This may sound a bit selfish considering the lack of internship placements, but I needed time to extend intern placements when I was back-to-back for the past two years. If nothing else, 2020 showed me that there have to be contingency plans for the contingency plans. I am fortunate that the last intern that I had was already front loading hours into her internship from her start date or she would not be finished now.

I have loaded up a bag with things to take into work. Now that I have a closet that can be locked up, I can take some of my more valuable instruments and props back to my clinical area. I won some YouRock guitars about 10-15 years ago, and they are returning to my clinic to expand my guitar collection. I have lots of electronic music toys that can also go back to work now that I can store them safely and remove them if they get too distracting. I will also be setting up the drum set for permanent availability. I had to take it apart because people were coming in after school and adjusting it, taking pieces of it off the set, and basically doing what they do with anything available - breaking it. There will be significantly less foot traffic in my room after school now that the store is to be housed elsewhere, so I should be able to have some things out in the closet to be used for individual treatment sessions.

I am hoping that we can start up individual treatment sessions again. I'll see when I see my new schedule. I feel that there is a bigger need for these interactions than before, and it has been impossible to schedule before, so I am really finding it difficult to get those sessions back up and going. All I know is that it is time to stretch and grow again.

My backpack is stuffed with my work bullet journal, my pencil case, my music therapy reading book, and my reading notebook. My goal is to use the last hour of my workday to read my music therapy texts. I have no energy at the end of the day, so reading should be a good way to unwind before the hour commute home. This will also use some of my work time for something other than watching YouTube videos because I cannot think after about 2pm. I can read and take notes during that time - I may also figure out how to synthesize stuff with that muddled brain as well. We will see!

I am looking forward to seeing my clients again. The past month of working without students has really reinforced my feelings about the type of therapist that I want to be - a clinician with lots of therapy interactions with clients! It has also shown me that I do not want to be someone who only interacts with others via screens. I miss being able to engage in live musicking with my clients, and I cannot wait to bring them into the new year with some live music. I can use both of my hands again, so I will be reaching for the guitar as soon as I can flex those fingertips. I am scared to try the guitar because my fingers feel so stiff and clumsy, but I know that it is time to try. I will do some guitar playing daily as well. I need to build up my calluses again. They have disappeared!! I've had them for 30 years! I don't miss those as much as I miss my writing callus, though. I've had that one for about 48 years!!! It is also almost gone.

It is time to gather my things, put on my coat, my fuzzy gloves, and my hat, and then head out into the world to start my work routine up again. I will strive to remain calm in the face of decisions made that affect me. I will play the guitar for a bit today. I will think deeply about my internship program and about what I can do for the interns who choose to work with me. I will spend time organizing and sorting and taking things home. I will drink water, and I will keep my cellphone handy all day just in case something happens with Dad. His twin sister is coming tomorrow to say goodbye. I can't go right now, but I talk to my family daily and will be able to be there on the phone when something happens. 

Time to get back to work. See you tomorrow.