Thoughtful Thursday: Not There, and Glad About It

Today will start the American Music Therapy Association's national conference, and for the first time in 25 years, I am not attending. I made this decision back in April when I decided not to submit any presentation proposals and again in July when I decided that I didn't want to spend exorbitant amounts of money to go see the same old people talking about the same old topics - none of which are directly related to me. So, I opted not to go. For the most part, I'm happy about my decision, especially now that I am in recovery from my recent health situation, but I still have some twinges.

Instead of going to conference, I am talking to car repair places, am trying to avoid exhaustion, and am scratching around my incision sites. I am very thankful that I am not trying to do these things while roaming around an unfamiliar city and sleeping in a hotel bed. Even so, friends are posting lots of pictures from the conference area and that makes me take notice and experience those twinges.

 Then, I remind myself that I made this choice for many reasons, not the least is that I feel that the world of music therapy conferences are being taken over by therapists with specific agendas that are pushing ideas and attitudes onto others in a forceful manner. Oh, that's not a path I want to go down - this has already led me into deleting several paragraphs from this post already. Just stop here.

 Okay. Time to focus on the positive.

 Because I haven't had to focus on conference presentations, I've been able to focus on making my own presentations available on my website.

 Because I am not going to conference this year, I can afford emergency medical care and all the co-insurance payments that I'm having to make this year.

 Because I am not going to conference this year, I'm able to mute some of the difficult conversations that are happening.

 Because I am not going to conference this year, I was able to afford going to Hawaii with my sister and mother this past summer.

 Because I am not going to conference this year, I can spend time resting. I really need the rest.

 There you go. Some reasons why not going to conference is the best decision for me this year. Who knows. Maybe I will not go to conference next year as well - or maybe I'll try being an exhibitor - or maybe not.

 So, I'll live vicariously through the folks that I know that are converging in Minneapolis right now and avoid all the other feelings that inevitably happen when I am surrounded by music therapists. I will enjoy seeing pictures from sessions and places knowing that I am here, doing what I need to do.

 I'm not there, and I'm glad to be here instead.

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