The Tragedy of Hurt Feelings
DISCLAIMER:
This is another rant. It is also a way to express some of the frustrations and things that are currently happening. I've written time and time again how this blog is about music, therapy, and ME - and that things that I write about are not always fluffy pink and blue thoughts. This is definitely NOT a fluffy pink and blue thought type of post. At the same time, I do think that it is important to write about all things that affect my life and my role in this world as a music therapist.
So, here we go...(you've been warned!)...
I am very sensitive today. This is a culmination of many different things, including my grief and the end of the school year, and waking up so very early on this Friday morning. I'm sure that my hormones are acting up as well, so it's really a perfect storm of all things able to prime me into a hissy fit all coming together at once.
I REALLY dislike it when someone takes it upon themselves to change my work without talking to me about the work I've done and how the changes will affect all that work. I also REALLY REALLY dislike when someone decides to bring up that I made a mistake in a public forum - especially when those comments are designed to embarrass only one person, because only one person has the responsibility to do that particular job. I find that sort of passive aggressive crap to be a betrayal of the highest order.
So, don't do that sort of thing, okay??
Now, there are times when I am oversensitive, and I can take things a bit more seriously than circumstances warrant, but these types of situations (both of which have happened in the last 12 hours) make me angry all the time, even when I am not as primed to be upset.
So, what do I do to move forward? Well, first I wallow. I cry, I rant, I storm to the poor cat who is just trying to offer a bit of comfort but can't do that because I'm yelling epithets directed towards specific people, then I have to apologize to the cat because she is scared of me, and I don't like that at all. I have learned that this wallowing is an important step for me because I can express my emotion through my emotion. I need the catharsis in order to exhaust that emotional brain so that my rational brain can take over.
My rational brain is calmer and quieter than my emotional brain. Once I've exhausted the emotion, I can start to figure out ways to move forward through my specific situations. I have responded to the public forum situation both through personal message and on the same forum. I will continue to request common courtesy - being able to address issues in a way that is not open to the awareness of people who are not involved. The other situation is something that someone else will have to address - it is not my role or place, but it was my work that was co-opted by a person who really overstepped. I will ask the person who is tasked with talking to this other person to address the issue. That's not the direct way I prefer, but it is the way things need to be done, so I will toe the line. See, I can be rational about things at times.
After my emotional and rational brains have their chance to think and work, I move into phase two of my process: hypothetical situations. I practice imaginary conversations, and I revert back into some emotional responses. This allows me to figure out specific scenarios before things start to happen. It also allows me to emote before an actual situation happens. I find that I am less emotional when things actually start if I have practiced beforehand.
My third step is to figure out what should be done about the situation. Then, I do it.
I feel satisfied that I have been assertive with the people who I can be assertive with in these situations. My feelings, while still bruised and hurt, are not taking over every single thought in my head. That is a good thing.
I am on my way to the last day of the regular school year. I hope the piano tuner will make it out to my facility today - last time the May curse got him. I have changed up the student store, and students will be spending their incentive points today, so I've spent all of my time lately moving things around and wearing out my joints. Today is a day for less moving and joint pain (I hope) and more for thinking and getting to the rest of the to-do list.
At the end of today, I have a week of rest ahead of me. I am more than ready for a break from people. I can get through today - I can, and I will. My feelings will be fine. I've done what I can do about the situations that are in front of me.
End of rant.
Time to go out and live the life in front of me.
This is another rant. It is also a way to express some of the frustrations and things that are currently happening. I've written time and time again how this blog is about music, therapy, and ME - and that things that I write about are not always fluffy pink and blue thoughts. This is definitely NOT a fluffy pink and blue thought type of post. At the same time, I do think that it is important to write about all things that affect my life and my role in this world as a music therapist.
So, here we go...(you've been warned!)...
I REALLY dislike it when someone takes it upon themselves to change my work without talking to me about the work I've done and how the changes will affect all that work. I also REALLY REALLY dislike when someone decides to bring up that I made a mistake in a public forum - especially when those comments are designed to embarrass only one person, because only one person has the responsibility to do that particular job. I find that sort of passive aggressive crap to be a betrayal of the highest order.
So, don't do that sort of thing, okay??
Now, there are times when I am oversensitive, and I can take things a bit more seriously than circumstances warrant, but these types of situations (both of which have happened in the last 12 hours) make me angry all the time, even when I am not as primed to be upset.
So, what do I do to move forward? Well, first I wallow. I cry, I rant, I storm to the poor cat who is just trying to offer a bit of comfort but can't do that because I'm yelling epithets directed towards specific people, then I have to apologize to the cat because she is scared of me, and I don't like that at all. I have learned that this wallowing is an important step for me because I can express my emotion through my emotion. I need the catharsis in order to exhaust that emotional brain so that my rational brain can take over.
My rational brain is calmer and quieter than my emotional brain. Once I've exhausted the emotion, I can start to figure out ways to move forward through my specific situations. I have responded to the public forum situation both through personal message and on the same forum. I will continue to request common courtesy - being able to address issues in a way that is not open to the awareness of people who are not involved. The other situation is something that someone else will have to address - it is not my role or place, but it was my work that was co-opted by a person who really overstepped. I will ask the person who is tasked with talking to this other person to address the issue. That's not the direct way I prefer, but it is the way things need to be done, so I will toe the line. See, I can be rational about things at times.
After my emotional and rational brains have their chance to think and work, I move into phase two of my process: hypothetical situations. I practice imaginary conversations, and I revert back into some emotional responses. This allows me to figure out specific scenarios before things start to happen. It also allows me to emote before an actual situation happens. I find that I am less emotional when things actually start if I have practiced beforehand.
My third step is to figure out what should be done about the situation. Then, I do it.
I feel satisfied that I have been assertive with the people who I can be assertive with in these situations. My feelings, while still bruised and hurt, are not taking over every single thought in my head. That is a good thing.
I am on my way to the last day of the regular school year. I hope the piano tuner will make it out to my facility today - last time the May curse got him. I have changed up the student store, and students will be spending their incentive points today, so I've spent all of my time lately moving things around and wearing out my joints. Today is a day for less moving and joint pain (I hope) and more for thinking and getting to the rest of the to-do list.
At the end of today, I have a week of rest ahead of me. I am more than ready for a break from people. I can get through today - I can, and I will. My feelings will be fine. I've done what I can do about the situations that are in front of me.
End of rant.
Time to go out and live the life in front of me.
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