The Gift of an Extra Hour

I gave myself a gift today - an extra hour of time at home. I am going to stay at my home until after the sunrise. I have already enjoyed an extra hour in bed, and now I still have two hours before I have to leave for work. I am taking some of my valuable personal time to allow myself a bit of time to just be me at the best time of day for me - early morning.

I have been extremely tired this week. I've been falling asleep way before it was time to sleep, and I've been waking up at random times during the night - not like me, but because I've been falling asleep before I've completed my evening routine, I'm waking up to get things done. I'm on allergy medication and that's making me drowsy, but this is more. Hence the extra hour at home today.

This is a self-care technique that I've used a bit more recently over the past couple of years. When I get to this type of feeling, I find that an extra hour of time in the morning refreshes me more than anything else. It's pretty amazing how more relaxed I am at 5:28 am knowing that I will be leaving in 2 hours instead of leaving at a random time so I can get to work and start to work...for free...for the company I work for. This is a constant theme in my life - getting places early, working late, and being tired. I try and try to make it stop, but I keep slipping back into these habits.

I do this because I am best and most attentive in the early morning. I've always been this way, and I will always be this way. If I had a paper to write, I'd write it starting about 2am. I'd go to sleep and wake up early to get things finished. I still do this and I often find that I am too mentally and physically tired to do things after working.

One of the things that I do is keep track of things in my bullet journal. Lots of people who do this type of journaling keep what are called habit trackers. They include things like the number of cups of water, the number of hours slept, and many other things. I don't keep track of when I fall asleep (I just tend to fall asleep). I could keep track of when I wake up, but I'm not really all that concerned with my sleep habits. I drink water as much as possible, so I don't think I'm all that dehydrated. I think, though, that I will start tracking when I leave for work and when I arrive at work. This is a habit that I want to establish - getting to work when I am supposed to be at work rather than getting to work very early.

Starting next week, my weekly page will include a time table. I will track when I leave my house. I will track when I arrive at work. I will do my best to stay at home and do things that I enjoy doing before I leave for my job. Maybe I'll be a bit more productive if I front load my morning rather than trying to muster the energy for early evening. We will see.

For the moment, my morning routine includes the following:

• feed the cat
• talk to the cat
• check email accounts
• go down the Facebook rabbit hole
• write blog post
• play mindless video game
• watch some Netflix
• shower
• collect things
• commute to work

I am going to add some creative time into this morning routine. There will be a trade off - I will have to manage some of my anxiety feelings about being late (I'm NEVER late, but that's mainly because of my anxiety about it) and work on being on time the way I am expected to be on time.

So, behavior to change - arriving early to work. Replacement behavior - creativity exploration. Data collection - habit tracker tracking creative effort, time left home, and time arrived at work. Anxiety amelioration - creative effort, mantra, and mindfulness practices. All of this because of an extra hour this morning. Time to start my new routine. I think I'll make something with paper... after all, I still have time before I have to be at work.

(and it will be okay!)