Habit Tracker - Week Two - This Week Is More Challenging
I am starting the second week of a new habit, and I am feeling a bit anxious about what I want to get done at work versus what I know I need to do with my schedule and my self. My anxiety talk is running around my head - "You won't have time to do what you want to do if you go in on time. You NEED to go in early." Those types of whispers are exacerbated by the infection running through my body at the moment as well. Fortunately, I know that these thoughts are my anxiety thoughts rather than an actual fact, so I can work through them.
One of the things that I am doing to help myself remember that I really do not have to work so many hours at work is keep track of when I leave and when I arrive each morning. Some of my anxiety comes from the erroneous idea that I will not arrive on time. I am writing down the minute that I enter my home, I track whether or not I run an errand before leaving town, and I write down the minute I arrive in my parking space. I was early (otherwise known as before 7:15) once last week, and I arrived at 7:10 instead of 7:15. Tracking my time is helping me eradicate the thought that I will not have enough time to get to work if I don't leave early. Here are data to change that thought. I can see that my thoughts are not true.
I have found that there are challenges associated with changing habits. Week two is always the most difficult for me as I keep trying to figure out how to keep up with the changing habit. I usually get bored with the change that I want to make, so I slack off. I am not going to go down that rabbit hole this time around. I will make this a new habit - being at work on time!
The opportunity and expectation of doing something that includes creativity is one of the benefits of this new plan. Instead of just watching television to fill up time, I am trying to make something - either books (mostly books these days) or lettering or word art. I may cut up some old clothing for bead bags this morning - I've been meaning to do this, but just haven't started. Today could be that day.
By getting to work on time instead of very early, I am hoping to exemplify one of the things that I ask my interns to do - work during work hours and only during work hours. I do work only at work, but I work lots more than I am paid to work. This is partially because of my anxiety around being late, but it is also because I ask my interns to work 8.5 hour days (so they can be finished in 7 months instead of 9). I figure that if I am asking them to work extra time, then I should be working that time as well. I also appreciate a bit of time before they arrive to organize my thoughts for the day, so I try to get there before their report time. There is no reason why I still need to do this - it used to be that we all shared the same space, but now we both have our offices - I can always shut my door if I need to isolate in order to think - but old habits die hard. Isn't that the point of all of these blog posts?
My point in writing about all this - my anxiety, habit trackers, trying to do better for myself to do better for my clients - is to let you all know that this is part of being human. There are times when we all go through situations that cause anxiety or disruptions in our job performance. As therapists and professionals, we must find the balance between self and other care. When my self concerns become more than I can handle while working with others, then it is time to focus on self rather than on others. When my concern for others leads me into harmful self care practices, then I am out of balance and need to correct that situation as well. When my concern for self becomes more important to me than working with my clients, then it is time to start thinking about whether or not I am supposed to be doing the job I've been hired to do.
The leaving itch is starting in the back of my brain - it is only 4:52am, so I have an hour and a half before I need to be leaving, but I am going to keep myself busy until it is time to go. There's a shower, some bead bag cutting, and some Carmen Sandiego in my future (that's right, I like children's cartoons!). I will continue my practice of leaving when I need to leave and not before...
I will...this is a good habit to get into. Rational brain...rational brain...rational brain.
Oh, rational brain, how I love thee!
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| My habit tracker for leaving and arriving... |
I have found that there are challenges associated with changing habits. Week two is always the most difficult for me as I keep trying to figure out how to keep up with the changing habit. I usually get bored with the change that I want to make, so I slack off. I am not going to go down that rabbit hole this time around. I will make this a new habit - being at work on time!
The opportunity and expectation of doing something that includes creativity is one of the benefits of this new plan. Instead of just watching television to fill up time, I am trying to make something - either books (mostly books these days) or lettering or word art. I may cut up some old clothing for bead bags this morning - I've been meaning to do this, but just haven't started. Today could be that day.
By getting to work on time instead of very early, I am hoping to exemplify one of the things that I ask my interns to do - work during work hours and only during work hours. I do work only at work, but I work lots more than I am paid to work. This is partially because of my anxiety around being late, but it is also because I ask my interns to work 8.5 hour days (so they can be finished in 7 months instead of 9). I figure that if I am asking them to work extra time, then I should be working that time as well. I also appreciate a bit of time before they arrive to organize my thoughts for the day, so I try to get there before their report time. There is no reason why I still need to do this - it used to be that we all shared the same space, but now we both have our offices - I can always shut my door if I need to isolate in order to think - but old habits die hard. Isn't that the point of all of these blog posts?
My point in writing about all this - my anxiety, habit trackers, trying to do better for myself to do better for my clients - is to let you all know that this is part of being human. There are times when we all go through situations that cause anxiety or disruptions in our job performance. As therapists and professionals, we must find the balance between self and other care. When my self concerns become more than I can handle while working with others, then it is time to focus on self rather than on others. When my concern for others leads me into harmful self care practices, then I am out of balance and need to correct that situation as well. When my concern for self becomes more important to me than working with my clients, then it is time to start thinking about whether or not I am supposed to be doing the job I've been hired to do.
The leaving itch is starting in the back of my brain - it is only 4:52am, so I have an hour and a half before I need to be leaving, but I am going to keep myself busy until it is time to go. There's a shower, some bead bag cutting, and some Carmen Sandiego in my future (that's right, I like children's cartoons!). I will continue my practice of leaving when I need to leave and not before...
I will...this is a good habit to get into. Rational brain...rational brain...rational brain.
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