The State of Anxiety
My first post idea for this morning was a rant about anxiety and worry. I decided not to post it as it seemed to be a bit too personal for this blog. However, one of the things that I strive to do in these posts is to acknowledge everything that happens as part of my life as a music therapist, even when those things tend to be less on the music or therapy side of things and seem to be more firmly centered on the me side of things (hence the title of this blog - music, therapy, and me - the commas are purposeful!).
I am currently a bit more prone to things like worry and anxiety right now. I started the week off with a very specific anxiety dream firmly centered in my work life. It left me a bit shaken two mornings ago. When I remember my dreams, they are often based in anxiety - I'm being chased, I have to hide, and/or I have to address challenging behaviors in my clients in a public situation. I had one dream where we had set up an obstacle course with a mud pit, and the one client who NEVER listens fell in. It was my job to fish that client out of the mud pit. The client's arm kept slipping out of my hands. I awoke to complete exhaustion. This dream was a very different type of situation, but same type of exhaustion occurred. I wake up extremely tired and stressed - after sleeping!
Some of my current emotional state is directly tied to situations going on right now. Some of that state is not - it is based on my internal responses and cycles and stress and desire for a significantly longer break. I thought it would be interesting to see if having the week after a time change made things easier than having to work after that spring forward time change. It doesn't really seem to matter - it's difficult to wake up this time of year no matter what happens with my schedule!
The difficulty for me is that, even though I have these levels of worry and anxiety happening personally, it is my job as a therapist to act as therapist for my clients. Fortunately, I don't feel like there are any situations that are seeping through into my music therapy sessions. Those are the times when I can focus on client needs, and the worry abates a bit.
So, how do I balance being an appropriate therapist with the current state of being that is me? Self-care in a proactive manner. I am finding my relaxation where I can get it - writing to my Mom, talking to my Dad on the phone, listening to my sister during her evening commute, getting to sleep as early as possible, and trying to eat really well. I'm tapping into my creativity as ideas occur, and I am sleeping when I feel tired. I have no trouble going to sleep, but I am waking up several times a night. Last time I did that, I had pneumonia. I don't think I have pneumonia this time around, but a visit to the doctor may be on the docket if things don't change soon.
Self-care is vital to the health of any therapist. Without a self-care routine or regimen, anyone in a helping profession runs the risk of compassion fatigue or job burnout. Therapists who stay in the profession often are the ones who demonstrate good awareness of their selves, their professional roles, and that use their self-care routines to refresh when they are challenged.
I recently attended a lecture on compassion fatigue that covered the statistics of the situation. There was never a comment about how compassion fatigue is common and perfectly natural in helping positions. We spoke about self-care for exactly 5 minutes out of the 90 minute lecture! There was nothing that normalized the feelings for us helpers, and there was nothing about the importance of finding a self-care routine and learning to recognize the signs before slipping into full-out fatigue. (The presenter also asked for personal data with identifying information without an indication of how the data would be used. I kept my data - I don't feel that anyone should be collecting data on me without providing me with the purpose of such data. That's an entirely different type of rant!) Anyway, I felt that there needed to be much more on the self-care part of everything rather than just on the statistics.
I know one thing for sure. This current state of worry and anxiety will end. I've been through this pattern enough times to know that my body will eventually relax. The situations that I have no control over will also either change or be resolved - with or without me. I am doing everything I can to find out information to help me resolve the situation. While it is happening, though, I find myself in need of something else - those self-care practices.
I am going out into the world to practice some self-care and to do some therapy. I have a day off on Friday (I love snow days!), so I'll do the sleeping in thing and then do some home care. Maybe I'll also open up one of my Girl Scout cookie boxes. Who knows? It's time to leave this state of anxiety and move into the world of balance.
Happy Wednesday.
I am currently a bit more prone to things like worry and anxiety right now. I started the week off with a very specific anxiety dream firmly centered in my work life. It left me a bit shaken two mornings ago. When I remember my dreams, they are often based in anxiety - I'm being chased, I have to hide, and/or I have to address challenging behaviors in my clients in a public situation. I had one dream where we had set up an obstacle course with a mud pit, and the one client who NEVER listens fell in. It was my job to fish that client out of the mud pit. The client's arm kept slipping out of my hands. I awoke to complete exhaustion. This dream was a very different type of situation, but same type of exhaustion occurred. I wake up extremely tired and stressed - after sleeping!
Some of my current emotional state is directly tied to situations going on right now. Some of that state is not - it is based on my internal responses and cycles and stress and desire for a significantly longer break. I thought it would be interesting to see if having the week after a time change made things easier than having to work after that spring forward time change. It doesn't really seem to matter - it's difficult to wake up this time of year no matter what happens with my schedule!
The difficulty for me is that, even though I have these levels of worry and anxiety happening personally, it is my job as a therapist to act as therapist for my clients. Fortunately, I don't feel like there are any situations that are seeping through into my music therapy sessions. Those are the times when I can focus on client needs, and the worry abates a bit.
So, how do I balance being an appropriate therapist with the current state of being that is me? Self-care in a proactive manner. I am finding my relaxation where I can get it - writing to my Mom, talking to my Dad on the phone, listening to my sister during her evening commute, getting to sleep as early as possible, and trying to eat really well. I'm tapping into my creativity as ideas occur, and I am sleeping when I feel tired. I have no trouble going to sleep, but I am waking up several times a night. Last time I did that, I had pneumonia. I don't think I have pneumonia this time around, but a visit to the doctor may be on the docket if things don't change soon.
Self-care is vital to the health of any therapist. Without a self-care routine or regimen, anyone in a helping profession runs the risk of compassion fatigue or job burnout. Therapists who stay in the profession often are the ones who demonstrate good awareness of their selves, their professional roles, and that use their self-care routines to refresh when they are challenged.
I recently attended a lecture on compassion fatigue that covered the statistics of the situation. There was never a comment about how compassion fatigue is common and perfectly natural in helping positions. We spoke about self-care for exactly 5 minutes out of the 90 minute lecture! There was nothing that normalized the feelings for us helpers, and there was nothing about the importance of finding a self-care routine and learning to recognize the signs before slipping into full-out fatigue. (The presenter also asked for personal data with identifying information without an indication of how the data would be used. I kept my data - I don't feel that anyone should be collecting data on me without providing me with the purpose of such data. That's an entirely different type of rant!) Anyway, I felt that there needed to be much more on the self-care part of everything rather than just on the statistics.
I know one thing for sure. This current state of worry and anxiety will end. I've been through this pattern enough times to know that my body will eventually relax. The situations that I have no control over will also either change or be resolved - with or without me. I am doing everything I can to find out information to help me resolve the situation. While it is happening, though, I find myself in need of something else - those self-care practices.
I am going out into the world to practice some self-care and to do some therapy. I have a day off on Friday (I love snow days!), so I'll do the sleeping in thing and then do some home care. Maybe I'll also open up one of my Girl Scout cookie boxes. Who knows? It's time to leave this state of anxiety and move into the world of balance.
Happy Wednesday.
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