The Art of Blame
This is a rant. It is a post that is influenced by my current illness, probably affected by the storm going on outside, and my levels of frustration with the world outside my front door. No worries - I'm going to the doctor this morning, so things should start to get better soon. Less rant-y, more music therapy centered again.
A friend of mine posted a letter from a teacher on one of my social media feeds yesterday. As I read it, I found myself getting more and more frustrated with the opinions shared all over my posts. Opinions are simply that - OPINIONS. Isn't it interesting how little actual real information is ever shared?
Anyway, the letter that was posted stated that the reason kids are having so many problems in schools is because of bad parenting. Opinion. The one thing that I got out of the post was that everyone seems eager to blame someone else for the woes of society. "Can't blame me that my students are out of control in my classroom. It's the parents' fault." "Can't blame me for what my child does. If teachers cared more (after all, they spend time with my child) for MY child, then these things wouldn't happen." "Arming teachers will solve everything." All of these are opinions and simply that - opinions.
Now, I have been in situations where I have blamed others for things that have happened. I have also been the target of blame. Sometimes I have deserved that blame and other times I have not.
When a tragedy occurs, we seek to find someone to blame. We continue to play the blame game until the next time something happens. We blame everyone and anyone without really looking for a solution. Blame is so much easier than working towards a fix.
My opinion? There is no one person/group of people to blame. Our societal systems are broken. This includes parenting, school, how we spend our leisure time, government regulations, mental health systems, how the media portrays events, and everything that goes on in our 21st century life. Until we decide to put away the blame game, we (the societal WE) will not find solutions.
This doesn't happen in tragic situations only. Isn't it amazing how much we want to find someone to blame when therapy doesn't work as planned? How much argument happens at treatment meetings with everyone stating that they are the only one who has the client's best interests at heart? I hate it when someone uses the statement, "Well, I'M here for the kids," as a justification for going against appropriate professional standards and practices. My mind always goes to, "Gee, and I'm not here for the kids at all! I'm here for the VERY LARGE PAYCHECK!"
I see the blame game happening in our music therapy community as well. "If only AMTA would take care of all of the people in the world who dare to use music without being music therapists, then I wouldn't have any problems at all." Sure, AMTA looms large in the lives of music therapists, but our organization is not large at all. It is impossible for that group of people to handle every single situation of misrepresentation alone. It is our responsibility as music therapists and as members of society.
"If only music therapists wouldn't accept low-paying jobs, we'd all be better paid." I've been in the place where any job was a gift, even the ones that paid minimum wage. I've also been in the place where I have clearly priced myself out of a job because I have specific expectations of what type of payment I need. Everyone comes to our profession for reasons that are not always evident to others.
Until we agree not to try to assign blame but to figure out what is happening - in our music therapy clinics, in our profession, in our societies - we cannot move towards a solution.
Do I have a solution? No, I do not. I am a small piece of society. I have my opinions (right or wrong, I own them as a part of me). Do I think that we can lay all the fault for school violence at the feet of parents? Not at all. Do I think that school settings and employees are solely at fault? Not at all. Do I think that stricter gun control will completely eliminate these tragedies? Not at all. Do I think that better access to mental health services in our current way of doing things will stop people from these situations? Not at all. My opinion (that's what it is - just an opinion) is that all of these things need to change and evolve. If we do the same old things, then we will not solve any problems.
I refuse to play the blame game anymore. If you want my attention, then start to suggest multi-faceted solutions rather than pointing fingers.
That's my opinion. Feel free to share yours.
Read on with CAUTION!
A friend of mine posted a letter from a teacher on one of my social media feeds yesterday. As I read it, I found myself getting more and more frustrated with the opinions shared all over my posts. Opinions are simply that - OPINIONS. Isn't it interesting how little actual real information is ever shared?
Anyway, the letter that was posted stated that the reason kids are having so many problems in schools is because of bad parenting. Opinion. The one thing that I got out of the post was that everyone seems eager to blame someone else for the woes of society. "Can't blame me that my students are out of control in my classroom. It's the parents' fault." "Can't blame me for what my child does. If teachers cared more (after all, they spend time with my child) for MY child, then these things wouldn't happen." "Arming teachers will solve everything." All of these are opinions and simply that - opinions.
Now, I have been in situations where I have blamed others for things that have happened. I have also been the target of blame. Sometimes I have deserved that blame and other times I have not.
When a tragedy occurs, we seek to find someone to blame. We continue to play the blame game until the next time something happens. We blame everyone and anyone without really looking for a solution. Blame is so much easier than working towards a fix.
My opinion? There is no one person/group of people to blame. Our societal systems are broken. This includes parenting, school, how we spend our leisure time, government regulations, mental health systems, how the media portrays events, and everything that goes on in our 21st century life. Until we decide to put away the blame game, we (the societal WE) will not find solutions.
This doesn't happen in tragic situations only. Isn't it amazing how much we want to find someone to blame when therapy doesn't work as planned? How much argument happens at treatment meetings with everyone stating that they are the only one who has the client's best interests at heart? I hate it when someone uses the statement, "Well, I'M here for the kids," as a justification for going against appropriate professional standards and practices. My mind always goes to, "Gee, and I'm not here for the kids at all! I'm here for the VERY LARGE PAYCHECK!"
I see the blame game happening in our music therapy community as well. "If only AMTA would take care of all of the people in the world who dare to use music without being music therapists, then I wouldn't have any problems at all." Sure, AMTA looms large in the lives of music therapists, but our organization is not large at all. It is impossible for that group of people to handle every single situation of misrepresentation alone. It is our responsibility as music therapists and as members of society.
"If only music therapists wouldn't accept low-paying jobs, we'd all be better paid." I've been in the place where any job was a gift, even the ones that paid minimum wage. I've also been in the place where I have clearly priced myself out of a job because I have specific expectations of what type of payment I need. Everyone comes to our profession for reasons that are not always evident to others.
Until we agree not to try to assign blame but to figure out what is happening - in our music therapy clinics, in our profession, in our societies - we cannot move towards a solution.
Do I have a solution? No, I do not. I am a small piece of society. I have my opinions (right or wrong, I own them as a part of me). Do I think that we can lay all the fault for school violence at the feet of parents? Not at all. Do I think that school settings and employees are solely at fault? Not at all. Do I think that stricter gun control will completely eliminate these tragedies? Not at all. Do I think that better access to mental health services in our current way of doing things will stop people from these situations? Not at all. My opinion (that's what it is - just an opinion) is that all of these things need to change and evolve. If we do the same old things, then we will not solve any problems.
I refuse to play the blame game anymore. If you want my attention, then start to suggest multi-faceted solutions rather than pointing fingers.
That's my opinion. Feel free to share yours.
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