5 Things to Remember When Things Are Falling Apart

One of the things that I really try to do is to be honest about my life as a music therapist - it's not easy to admit when things don't go well, but it's important to recognize that things will not always go as planned.

I am going to try something new today. Well, it's not really that new, but it will be new for music therapy for specific clients in specific sessions at my facility. Here's the big idea...

CENTERS

I know. Not that impressive, but the only thing that I can figure out to divide and conquer my clients who are struggling with appropriate interactions with others.

We are going to do six different things during sessions today and tomorrow. I have file folder activities for one set of clients, a dice game for another set of clients, and a note hunt composition TME for the other group of clients for the first round of centers. Everyone will get out of the small, dinky, dingy music therapy room into the bright, large, high-ceilinged Discovery Center for about 5 minutes during the first part of the session (and again during the second part). After my clients finish the first half of the centers, we will reset and then do different folders, composition using the results of the first set of centers, and going out to play mystery songs on the bell assembly in the Discovery Center.

This is the most recent in a series of trying things with two of my groups. Last week's attempts to get clients into the music therapy process ended up in a fist fight, several students in full-out tantrums, and a VERY frustrated music therapist who simply couldn't understand why she couldn't engage clients.

So, things pretty much fell apart. That is where this list started...

5 Things to Remember When Things Are Falling Apart

1. The therapist (that's me, and you!) can only control two aspects of the session. The only thing that I can control during a music therapy session is my self and the music that I contribute. I cannot control what a client does or brings into the session. Because of this, I cannot always predict how my clients will respond. Clients will surprise me.
2. There are times when the personal overcomes the therapeutic priority. No matter how wonderful my session plan is (or could be), there are times when client's personal needs outweigh any type of therapeutic goal or objective. At that moment, it is the job of the therapist to put the plan aside and assist the client with what is happening at the time.
3. Nothing is set in stone. Again, the perfect, on-paper session plan is not always the most perfect way of interacting with the client in the moment. There are times when the session plan has to put aside. I did this last week when I needed to engage in my coping skills and led my remaining clients in using their own coping skills to calm (this was after the fist fight). The session plan on paper went out the window. We all needed some relaxation, so relaxation was what we did.
4. A bad session does not necessarily mean the therapist is bad as well. Bad sessions happen for many reasons. There will be times when I just cannot mold groups of clients into the form I want them to go into. (I then start thinking, "why do I feel this need to mold them into my idea of what music therapy should be?") There will be times when I will need to spend some time thinking about how I am presenting therapy. In my opinion, a good therapist is constantly adapting and seeking to strengthen his or her skills and interactions with clients. A bad therapist is the one that says, "There's nothing more I can do."
5. There are times and people that I just cannot be a therapist for...and that's really okay. I have found that there are just some people with whom I cannot establish a therapeutic relationship. Fortunately, there haven't been many, but there are just some people that I can't click engage in my idea of what therapy should be. When you find clients that you cannot affect, then it is time to discontinue therapy. My situation does not allow me to discontinue therapy - I have to provide services for all of the students - but I can change what "therapy" looks like for those clients.

Here are the last words for you and myself this day before I head off into the Wednesday world - do the best you can for every client who comes in front of you. The best you can is all you expect that you can do. Don't give up. Try new things, and assess what happens. Keep looking for the way into the experiences of your clients.

Reminds me of a quotation from the movie, Galaxy Quest - "Never give up. Never surrender."

Let's do the best we can for the people who choose to share their lives and challenges with us. Off I go!